


The Mazzellos

by Just_Call_Me_Floss, xofunghoul



Series: Mafia [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Actor RPF - Freeform, Actor!Ben, Alternate Universe, Alternate universe - Mafia, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mafia!Joe, Smut, Whump, director!Rami, its gonna be a long one boyssss, mafia, mafia!au, proff!Gwil, we're still working on this as we post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Call_Me_Floss/pseuds/Just_Call_Me_Floss, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xofunghoul/pseuds/xofunghoul
Summary: Joe was a simple guy. He just wanted to get his degree, have a good job and settle down with a dog and maybe some kids. But when your family is the biggest Mafia Family in New York, it ain't that easy. So when he falls head over heels for a certain blond, he drags him in to a massive mess with only one form of escape. Death.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello
Series: Mafia [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177556
Comments: 51
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this what happens when you get hit with a random wave of inspiration, and you see Joe in *that* suit at the same time. This has been in the works for months, and actually started as a joke blurb between two friends. But now Nadia and I have joint-custody of this Mafia!AU baby. How many bad and cringey tropes can we fit into one story? Read on to find out!

Joe walked through campus with his bag pulled up high on his back, thrown over one shoulder as the ratty material kept one section of his back warm. It was the middle of butt-fuck winter, snow and ice were everywhere, and Joe had to keep his attention sharp as not to slip over.

It was first week back after the Christmas holidays, and he was happy to be back to normality. With the scarf his sister got him wrapped tightly, pulled up over his nose to protect his skin from the winter winds, he dodged other students as they slid around the badly gritted pathways. There were small spaces here and there which were safe to stand on, but other students stood on them and watched everyone else suffer. Joe walked past one of these spots and glared at the people standing there, gaining eye contact with one of the girls. She smirked when he lost his stepping, and actually burst out laughing when he had to steady himself on a bench. He hated New Yorkers, although he was one as well. 

But he had to go through, needed to meet his tutor for one of his assignments because frankly, Joe had no idea what he was being asked to do. And although he should’ve really started this assignment awhile back, he had been otherwise occupied, so with a week and a bit left, he thought he still had enough time to pull something semi-decent out his ass. So, hands burrowed deep in pockets looking for a shred of warmth, Joe ducked his head and continued on. And it wasn’t long until he came through the double automatic doors to the building that holds his tutors office. Knocking off the snow from his boots by the entrance as he pulled down his scarf, Joe started his way towards the lifts, but noticed the ‘out of order’ sign taped to the front. He actually groaned out loud, stomping his feet in some childish tantrum before turning to his right and making his way up five flights of stairs.

At the top, he had to pause, hands on knees as he regained control of his lungs. He waves of the concerned looks of his peers, forcing a reassuring smile to the ones coming close before he manages to get the right amount of oxygen back in his body and set off down the familiar corridors, turning this way and that way before finding the one he found. Knocking three times, Joe opened the door. He knew Mr.Lee pretty well, would class them as friends really, so knew his office hours and doubted that anyone else would be in here. But what was shocking was the fact that Mr.Lee wasn’t alone. Leaning back in one of the chairs was the most gorgeous guy Joe had ever seen, and he was only able to really see the guys profile. 

Mr. Lee (“call me Gwil”) was laughing at something, half way through a story, and boy it was a good one. Joe didn’t know what the story was about, but both men were in stitches. It took his tutor a moment to recognise someone was there, and it was quite funny to actually watch the esteemed lecturer try and school his face back to normal. But blondie was still chuckling away, now turning to look at the new man standing in the doorway. And if Joe thought he was hot before, now having the green eyes on him made his knees weak. The curls brushing against bushy eyebrows wanted Joes hands to run through them. Broad shoulders leading to toned torso needed to be worshiped and Joe was looking to join the religion. And ridiculously pouty lips were begging to be snogged. In his mind, they were already at third base. Yet, unfortunately, in the real world, the reality was that Joe was just standing there, openly ogling this stranger with his mouth hanging open.

Gwilym coughed a couple of times, noticing his friend was beginning to blush. “Joe,” he greeted once the red-head looked his way, “what is it I can help you with?” He needed to be professional at this time, readjusting his wonky frames on the top of his nose. But he knew Joe, and it was hard not to laugh at the shocked look on his students face. 

“Uhm,” Joe slowly pulled his bag from his shoulder, focusing slowly on Gwil, “I just wanted to go over, ugh,” he unzipped his bag, still looking at his tutor as he fished around, finally grabbing a notebook, pulling it out and holding it towards Gwil, who reached over his desk and took the notebook. It was the way they worked - Joe would scribble down his ideas for something in a book, finding it easier to just spill his brains onto the page, and Gwil would take it, along with his red pen, and make sense of it. Most the time, he ended up numbering different notes, making them into a list that Joe could follow, sometimes scratching out an idea or two or maybe adding a bit on. And when he opened the marked page this time, it was no different. 

“Joe,” he sighed, sending a quick apologetic look over to his friend, “this is due in 9 days, why haven’t you started?”

“I got sidetracked,” Joe shrugged, taking another step forward, allowing the wooden door to close with a click. Now focusing on the half dead plant on Gwils window sill, Joe tried to block Hottie McHotFace from his mind, “ya know, family business stuff”. He shrugged again. 

Gwil sighed, deeper this time, but twirled his pen through his fingers before scribbling down a few numbers and drawing connecting lines to better points. “This is good stuff, Mazzello, but you need to stay on track,” as if to underline his own point, Gwilym drew a line through one of Joe’s, “this topic is easy to get distracted with, and you know how important this one is. Which is why I had set it to be done over Christmas break”. 

“I know, ‘m sorry,” now, it was the well used book spines which held Joe’s attention, but he could feel how close Blondie Bombshell was, “but it got busy and I had to get my hands dirty. But I’m free now, don’t ya worry”.

Gwil made a half interested noise, circling a certain word Joe wrote down before closing the book, handing it over with a smile. “Get it done, Joseph, I want to read your opinion”. He watched the happy smile split his students face and couldn’t help the blossoming pride deep in the Welshmans chest. When Joe had started here two years ago, he’d been full of too much emotion, needed some genuine friends, and although they were the same age, Gwil took him under his wing and made a good academic out of the chaotic man. “And I expect you’ll be at the pub quiz on Thursday?” It wasn’t a genuine question, and both men knew it. Joe would be there, he always was, and Gwil was there right next to him. 

“Nah, thinking of skipping it,” Joe joked although nodding. He stuffed his book back into the bag, zipping it up quickly and shoving it back on his back.

“Ah, at least I’ll have company,” leaning back, Gwil let his eyes flow to his friend, “Ben was rather hoping to see the great Mazzello in his natural habitat, weren’t you?”

“What can I say? I’m an avid observer.” The man behind him answered. 

The accent that came from the man beside him would’ve had Joe on his knees if he weren’t in public, and as Ben (huh, he suits the name) joined in on the joking, Joe’s smile grew.

“I’ll see you both there,” Joe eventually retreated after learning that Gwil and Ben had been friends back in Britain, and that Ben had recently moved over to New York for work. Both men waved, and Ben’s deep voice rang a few farewells as Joe practically ran down the corridor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. The world's on fire, we're all going to die, but we have an update to this story to help you blur it out.  
> Hope you guys enjoy and stick around till next week to get the next one

Ben hurried after Gwil. He’d always had the longer stride, and Ben was always having to march after him. But he watched as the air puffed up in clouds around him, the cool air instantly reacting with his warmer body heat. He’d been sensible and put on his gloves, yet his exposed wrists still felt the bitter embrace of the environment around him. 

Although he’d lived for a few years in the heart of London, nothing had prepared him for how addictive New York would be. The bright lights never dimmed, allowing a false sense of a never ending day, and as the Brit turned his head skywards, a snowflake fluttered down to chill the tip of his nose, causing him to let out a small laugh. He’d fallen in love with the place when he’d visited his friends, and it seemed the feeling was mutual. But, alas, finding a place to live had not been.

Ending up in a rundown neighborhood, Ben had actually used a padlock to lock the front door, but a roof was a roof and he was luckier than many that he’d got a place of his own. His agent hadn’t been much help, not knowing anyone who could’ve helped him finding places, but they had booked him a theatre gig as the understudy for the main role. The pay was alright, better than some roles would’ve gotten him, yet the blond craved more time out and about. So, he looked around for some improv classes. 

But he hadn’t been over to this side of town, and he managed to catch up with his lanky friend just before ducking into a small bar. You wouldn’t have noticed the place if you weren’t looking. It was more of a corridor, the bar itself about halfway down, yet the place was packed. High tables and barstools were put in every available space, a few booths tucked in corners and against walls whenever possible, and it was in one of these booths that Ben noticed a familiar smile. 

Joe waved, beer already in hand, from the booth they’d reserved. Gwil and Joe were friends with one of the bartenders and got a few privileges from it. So, shuffling through, Ben attempted to keep his hands as close to his body as humanly as possible, following behind Gwil before spilling into the booth. Joe grinned over the neck of his bottle as the British men fell over each other into the opposite side of the booth. The vintage neon light hung up above them cast him in warm lighting, the tips of his wild hair in a vibrant orange. Sun-kissed skin revealed pale freckles dusting the dip of his nose, exploding over his cheeks and making his eyes sparkle more.

“Hey,” Joe greeted once Ben and Gwil had managed to organise themselves, Ben closer to the wallpapered wall. Ben couldn’t help the big smile stretching his lips.

“Hey buddy,” he shot back, although only knowing this man briefly. Something about him was so welcoming, so open and warm, that Ben couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach whenever he caught the hazel eyes. He couldn’t help but want to know more. The man was addictive.

“Buddy? Alright,” Gwil mocked, but the smirk on his lips showed the evident joke behind his words, “I’ll just leave you two alone if I’m gonna be the third wheel”. He jokingly went to stand, hands up in the air in joke surrender. Ben laughed, grabbing Gwil by the arm to stop him although knowing he wouldn’t actually leave. Joe laughed around his beer, taking a final swig.

“What’s your poison?” Once the laughter died down, Joe’s eyes pierced Ben’s as he tapped the bottle with his fingertips.

“Oh, ugh,” Ben turned to Gwil. Truth be told, he hadn’t actually been to a proper bar whilst being here. He didn’t know what they had to offer. Carlsberg or Strongbow were his usual back in the UK, but were those foreign words across the pond? Gwil shrugged, casting his eyes elsewhere. Of course he wouldn’t know, he always stuck to his same drinks - gin and tonic or a bottle of white wine. But Ben was a beer man, so he was totally out in the open. “I dunno, what you drinking?”

“Some shitty beer, really, but I’ve been having it for years so feel I need to stay loyal,” Joe turned the dark brown bottle in his hands, glancing down at the familiar label yet none of the words seem to register in the American’s brain. He shrugged at Ben’s laugh, but raised an offering eyebrow, and grinned at the accepting nod. So, he slid out his side of the booth, and weaved his way to the bar.

“Already got my mates buying you booze? God, you work fast Jones,” Gwil laughed, casting a warm arm over the top of the booth back. Ben relaxed back, not realising how far sat forward he was until he fell backwards against the worn cracked leather of the well-used booth. He felt the tips of his ears warm, knowing his cheeks would be tinged a light rose pink.

Even back in their uni days, Ben used to be able to charm his way into any situation, and it seemed the American air was not that different. The two friends remained silent as they waited for the third to come back. Ben couldn’t stop his eyes from watching the hypnotic swing of slim hips as Joe came back, two fridge chilled beers held between long fingers. The blush darkened a shade as Ben gulped past the lump in his throat. He flinched as the arm behind him fell against broad shoulders and he glanced over at Gwil who gave him a knowing wink before shuffling from the booth himself. 

Leaving the two alone now, Gwil quickly leant in and whispered in Joe’s ear, grinning like a mad man as Joe barked out a laugh. He then slid back into the booth, pushing the bottle over to Ben's side. The liquid sloshed from one side to another as the bottle jittered before coming to a stop with a thud. Ben pretended he’d been watching the brown glass roll when Joe finally ripped his eyes off of it, but really he’d been burning the infectious smile into his mind forever. He smiled back, wrapping nervous fingers around the chilled neck, masking his shaking hands by taking a swig. Once glass met wood again, Ben tilted his head. “Thanks”. 

Joe tipped his own bottle back in acknowledgment. It had been a few days since he’d seen the blond, and the fluttering butterflies returned with gusto. Everything that Ben was doing was making Joe flush, a sheen of sweat merging with his skin under his shirt. Licking his lips, he brought his own bottle to his lips, letting the amber liquid tip him into the tipsy category. Everything was surrounded with a hazy glow, time was slowing down as the courage built inside of him and he found himself glancing down at the shapely lips that have been stuck in his mind. Those lips were getting him through this fucking assignment.

“So, how do you know Gwil?” Joe asked, deciding it was enough of the silent staring contest. He needed to make conversation with the blond, not scare him off with his piercing eyes and intensity, so the booze was giving him a nice push to let the more charming side of him out and chat Ben up for a bit. 

“We met at Uni a couple of years back, been friends ever since”, taking a swig of his drink, Ben cast his memory back, “I was just starting out and he was finishing his masters degree and was also an assistant professor, but he lived in the flat opposite. The amount of times he knocked on my door and told me to shut up eventually led to us getting drinks together as a way of me apologising. Realised we had a lot in common, we gelled well and then moved into a house for his last year”. Ben shrugged, a fond smile tugging his lips has he walked down memory lane, “he got really drunk one night and ended up throwing up in the lap of a guy we kind of knew. I was laughing too hard to help and Gwil ended up getting punched so hard that he chipped his tooth, this one right here,” he pointed at the canine next to his front teeth.

Joe laughed, somehow not imagining his lecturer ever being that drunk, “is it still broken?”

Ben nodded gleefully, sipping his beer, “he refuses to get it fixed at this point”.

“I’m gonna be looking at it whenever he speaks now, thanks to you”.

“Your welcome,” Ben faked cheersed, giggling to himself at the sparkle in Joe’s eyes. Before they could start up the conversation again, Gwil reappeared with the Pub Quiz sheets and pens, all three of them yelling in excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at us please. We need it.


	3. Chapter 3

They’d done terribly. Joe and Gwil had argued throughout, a mix of alcohol and attempting to show off had meant that they’d put answers in the wrong sections, had argued over the questions and not being able to hear what was being asked, doddled in the margins and one of the pens had actually gone missing, but now, the morning after, Joe groaned into the wood of his desk. The sun was streaming through his little office window, the fancy curtains he’d hung just for the aesthetic doing nothing to block the light. 

He was about halfway through his first draft, his argument was concise and he’d managed to elaborate on some of his original points. But being hungover and horny meant nothing was being done. He’d tried to distract himself, but most of the time he was just headbutting something in hopes of thinking about anything other than those thick thighs.

Halfway through the quiz, three drinks down and a plate of nachos shared, Ben had shuffled around to Joe’s side of the booth, flipping off Gwil’s complaints so they could get to know each other better. Somehow, Bens thigh ended up being pushed up against Joes, and the warmth that came from the tight jeaned thighs was still imprinted on Joe’s mind. 

Pushing his chair back from his desk, he let it roll him slowly into the middle of the room. A few files were stacked up by his desk, a picture of his parents smiling at him from an old photo frame sitting next to his monitor. His expression softened, the memory of that photo bathing him in a soothing feeling. But, alas, his chair stopped moving, and he got up with an annoyed grunt. Old books he’d been gifted over the years filled the bookshelves, covered in dust after being ignored due to other duties, and Joe made a somewhat important mental note to start reading some of them again. 

He made his way into the corridor, grateful for the darker shade offered in this small walkway that cut through this apartment. Family photos covered most of the grey panelled walls, a few artworks dotted between the smiles. The Mazzellos had always had the ideas of the family being first. Everything they ever did was for each other, however messy it got, as long as they were all safe, nothing else mattered. And having memories immortalized behind a little piece of glass kept that idea alive.

Emerging out into the kitchen, the idea of a proper greasy fry up beckoned Joe forward, the fridge opening up in a welcome to his lunch-time ideas. It wasn’t long until he had bacon sizzling in a pan, mushrooms soaking up the fat as he hummed along to a song currently playing through the radio. His place was pretty central to New York and was nowhere near as tall as the neighbouring buildings which cast some form of protection from the winter sun. He flipped the sizzling meat before going over to grab some tomatoes from the side, placing them carefully in another pan. Cooking had always been his relaxant, and it worked to keep him distracted for a little bit as he finished off the other components of his late lunch. He got it all on a plate, moving over to the island and pulling out a barstool, hoping up before digging into his meal, the washing having to wait until later to be done.

The privilege his family name gave him didn’t go wasted on Joe, and he knew the way he lived wasn’t normal. Straight out of high school, he’d gone on a five-year tour around the world, managing to see what else there was to offer. Once growing bored of that, he’d moved back into his family estate, twiddling his thumbs and not knowing what he wanted to do. He grew bored very quickly, and although knowing he didn’t need to work, he picked up a scriptwriting gig. He knew it was his parents who got him the opportunity, they even gave him his current place, but Joe was happy to have a purpose. He’d made a few friends who treated him like an equal rather than as someone to fear, and although he loved it, he knew he had to change and go to University. So, hanging up his creative gloves, he decided to do what his parents wanted and study Business, but he managed to wiggle a bit of his personality into the process and got onto a joint-course with English language coming into play - hence, meeting Gwil. He’d wanted to be able to help out with the family business, although not knowing what help he’d be in the long run.

Most places, all he had to do was mention his name and he’d get in. But he liked a challenge, wanted to have a life away from his parents' shadow. He wouldn’t have to pick up the family business anyway, his sister had been training up for it since she was a teenager. And anyway, she was more suited for it than him. Mary had always been more involved whenever she could, had been their fathers' right-hand woman for a couple of years. Anyway, as the middle child, Joe didn’t have to do that much. Obviously, they’d all been trained, he knew his way pretty well around the equipment, but he never saw himself as being the big man, the most important part of the game.

He hummed as he finished his plate, cutlery scraping up the last few pieces before he pushed his plate across the countertop, letting his mind wander. Naturally, soft blond curls floated to the top of his mind. Joe didn’t even know if the new Brit in his life liked men, yet his heartbeat beat to the rhythm of his name. They’d hardly spent any time together, didn’t know each other's secrets yet, but Joe knew he wanted to get into every crevice in the blond's mind. 

He let his head fall heavily onto the counter before him as he let out a frustrated groan. Turns out that the best way to get himself to think was by causing himself brain damage. The alcohol still sending curses inside him didn’t help, casting altered illusions behind his eyes. Ben, below him and gasping in bed. Ben, on his knees and grateful to be there. Ben, walking down the street beside him hand in hand. Ben, pristine suit across his shoulders as he stands by Joes side. 

Stumbling off the barstool, Joe grabbed his hair and pulled, the moment of pain distracting enough to reset his brian from those soft thoughts. He quickly went over to the living room section of his flat, falling over the back of the sofa and instantly being embraced by the well-worn leather. Joe groaned again, face-first into the furniture. Both his siblings were married, John even had kids, yet Joe was here, hadn’t been on a date in ages and horny as fuck for a guy who probably doesn’t even like dick.

He muttered his frustrations to the open ears of the pillows and throws, letting out a few angry shouts when it just got too much. Everyone else had their life set out for them, but he was still stumbling about. 

Sometime later, after repeating himself a few times, Joe drifted off to sleep without knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SCREAM SUPER LOUD TO REMIND US TO POST THE NEXT CHAPTER ON TIME


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a Ben orientated chapter!

Ben hated his apartment. He’d been here for four months, yet his place seemed like someone else's. Not daring to have anything overly expensive, IKEA had been his friends, and alcohol had been his support when he’d had to put all the things together by himself. A studio flat, Ben could reach into his fridge whilst in bed, could be in the shower and halfway through the door at the same time, on the toilet and cooking his dinner. It was hardly a box, yet he tried his hardest, but there was only so much some throws and printed out pictures could do.

Most of his acting paycheck was going towards rent and food, a little set aside for the weekly pub quiz and a couple drinks, but there were a few scraps leftover going into a saving fund to hopefully get a bigger place, one where he wouldn’t be too scared to actually have anything nice. As it was, he currently stacked his few charity shop books under the bed, between the boxes of clothes. He was pretty sure someone had been murdered in the flat above him, because there’d been an almighty scream followed by silence a few days ago, yet Ben didn’t care. At least it’d keep the rats out of his place for a little longer.

The satchel he’d had since University sat high on his shoulder as he walked down the street, the leather seeming to have moulded to his bone shape. Hands buried deep in his pockets, the new spring air was even colder than the winter, and Ben sniffed away his cold, denying it from making him have a sick day. No one at his work seemed to like him, but he couldn’t find anything better. The other actors seemed to have been working together for ages before Ben had butted in, and the night he’d actually had to step up and be the lead, they’d only spoken to him the bare minimum. But one of the assistant directors seemed to have a crush on him, coming over and touching his arms whenever she could but her neighing like laugh had Ben looking the other way. Also, the fact he leant more the other way didn’t help her case. But he stayed close, let her flirt with him, because he was sure she was the only reason he still had this job.

His agent dropped him after he’d been here for three months. Claimed they couldn’t find him anything, they were a British based company and just didn’t know anyone here, so for the last month, he’d been keeping his head low as to not alert his employers. Using his shoulder to push open the back door to the theatre, Ben kept his eyes low, coughing into his fist as the cold fought harder. He made it to his designated changing area, about to drop his bag when he noticed someone else's stuff there. He frowned, about to ask who’d messed up their places, when a guy he’d never seen before came over.

“Sorry man, that’s my stuff,” the American shrugged, crossing his arms as he stood behind the chair.

“Excuse me?” Ben quizzed, eyebrows raised. Who was this punk, and what were they doing in his place? Heck, what were they even doing backstage?

“My. Stuff.” The guy pointed at himself first, then pointed at the pristine sports bag by Bens feet. Glancing to the desk, he saw some different makeup products, hair gels and sprays across his usual place. A different photo sat where his used to be, stuffed into the frame of the mirror. Ben’s jaw hung open, seeing that all his stuff had been put into a small plastic container, looking like someone had basically swept their arm across his workspace and pushed them all into the box. He looked back at the guy, who now had his arms crossed and eyebrows raised, a triumphant smirk stretched his lips and Ben wished he could punch it right off of him.

So he did.

\-------------------------

Ben was back out on the street ten minutes after he’d first walked in, black eye and bloodied lip his new companions. A box of stuff now in his arms, Ben blindly made his way down the unfamiliar streets. He had no idea where he was going, he was just walking, but soon realised he was on the campus Gwil worked at. Sniffling back tears this time, Ben made his way up the stairs, cursing the broken lift, and knocked twice on the door of the office. When he didn’t open it straight away, Gwil came and opened it for him, and was shocked to see his friend looking so upset.

“You ever in a lecture?” Ben attempted a joke, but it fell flat when he let out a sob. Gwil quickly ushered him in and grabbed the box of stuff from the blond. 

“What the hell happened?” Gwil asked, ignoring the tears falling down Ben’s face. He knew his friend wasn’t here for sympathy, he wasn’t the kind of guy who craved that, instead he knew that Ben just needed someone to listen. So he did.

“I punched a jerk,” Ben started, sinking into the seat opposite Gwil’s desk, chucking his satchel down. The bag lay sadly, sagging against the old carpet in defeat. Ben chocked back another sob, breathing wet as he sucked in the tears, “they replaced me, Gwil. Didn’t even tell me before. Just bought this better-looking version of me in, moved my stuff and just erased me from the place. Already had his name printed in a programme, the fuckers”. 

Gwil cursed, kicking the worn down desk hard. “They just replaced you? Can they even do that?”

Ben shrugged, picking at his cuticles. His vision was blurred, the tears now becoming angry as his bottom lip wobbled. “I don’t have an agent anymore, so…”. 

Gwil cursed again, falling heavily into his chair, the thing creaking under the sudden weight. He let out a frustrated sigh, taking off his glasses and folding the arms in carefully. He pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed tightly as he took in the situation. “I’m sure there’s some law against it or something. We should-” he started, his frustrations turning to feeble hope.

“Stop. Gwil, there’s no point, they were shit anyway and I wasn’t going to do anything brilliant when there,” Ben whispered, slumping in his chair as his head fell back against the wood of the back. “I should just move back to England and work with my parents,” he shrugged again, his face creasing up as a new wave of tears brushed down his face. 

“No! No, we’ll figure some shit out! You studied this for god’s sake! There’s probably some new show starting up who needs a guy with abs!” Gwil tried desperately to cheer up Ben, knowing that this had been his dream since he was a youngster.

“That’s the thing-” Ben sat up suddenly “- I don’t just want to be Hot Guy With Abs anymore! I’m tired of that shit! I got some of the highest marks back in London! I just want someone to take me seriously for once, you know?” He sat back, letting out a defeated sigh.

The office went silent, both knowing that words would do nothing in this situation. For as much of his acting career, Ben had been typecast. His time on the TV, he was only there to be the hot boyfriend. When he moved to the theatre, the same shit happened, and he’d actually done a play in the nude. So he’d wanted to come over here, the great US of A in hopes of breaking the cast and making his way. But instead, it seemed, they didn’t actually want him doing anything.

\-----------------------------

That night, back against the wall as he stared blankly out the window opposite, Ben took another swig of the horrid yet cheap wine he’d picked up from the store opposite, letting numbness take over as he shut out the outside world. But his phone rang, his pocket vibrating it’s happy tune, going against his mood at the moment. He fished it out his pocket, spilling some of the wine on his joggers. He tapped to accept the call and brought it up to his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, yes, is this Mr. Jones? Also known as Mr. Hardy?”

What type of scam call was this? “Yeah, that’s me. What are you wanting?”

“Brilliant! Hello! I’m Rami, Rami Malek. Joe gave me your number and said you're looking for a job? I have an audition ready for you in the morning if your willing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Would love to know what you guys think about the story so far! Mind shouting at us in the comments?


	5. Chapter 5

The cute little cafe in Brooklyn was packed with people looking for shelter from the cold but Joe managed to snatch a place in a corner. The lighting was warm, strings of fairy lights arching between industrial beams, large windows fogged up with the body heats acting as a repellent to the rain outdoors. In some places, you’d say that they were trying too hard to look homely and welcoming, but in Brooklyn, this was homely and welcoming. They even had photos of the employees on the wall, scattered around in mis-matched, thrifted photo frames. This place wouldn’t work as a chain, it would be too fake if it was, but they’d been here for years now, built up a hoard of loyal locals. Warm cup of coffee in his hand and phone in his other, Joe was killing time just fine when he heard the chair in front of him being pulled out and the sound of someone sitting opposite him, taking various items of clothing. 

“Sorry I’m late mate, had quite the afternoon,” Joe looked up to see the person he had been waiting for, for the last 20 minutes. Gwil. The Brit looked weather worn - hair messier than usual, rain drops still settled in the nest on top of his head. The scarf he loved was thrown over one shoulder, half tucked into his jacket. The spring was cold here, wind whipping through the streets with no mercy.

“If it had been anyone else, I would’ve fucked off by now but it’s cold and I had nothing better to do so you’re lucky,” He said with a shrug, part joking part not so much as he was extremely punctual and hated being kept waiting. He also knew Gwil was punctual too, and something must have happened. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah fine, just--” Joe watched Gwil hesitate for a moment, the welcoming smile dropping off of the lecturers face to be replaced by a concerned divet in his brow, “well, I was there’s no harm in telling you this. Ben showed up upset because he was fired from the play he was working on without notice. Just straight up replaced him”.

Joe blinked, once, tiwce but could feel his body boiling up with fury, “What the fuck? Can they even do that?” He knew his voice was louder than intended, someone glancing over the screen of their phone for a moment before looking back down, not really caring what the exclamation was for. But Joe honestly couldn’t believe it. He’d watched Ben run a few lines before, and it naturally came to him, so why the shit was he fired?

“I don’t know. Apparently.” Gwil chewed on his lips for a moment, looking down at his interlocked hands on the table, “he was upset so I saw to him getting home before coming here.”

“No, of course, don’t worry about it.” Joe tried to pretend to be calm but he was about ready to break someone’s leg right about now. Anyone’s really. Maybe the guy who glanced at him. He was looking a bit shady. But no, he probably shouldn’t. Bad for business. “Did he say what’s he going to do?”

“Other than drink himself to sleep tonight, no”, the Brit sighed, finally leaning back in his chair, a huff of hair directed up towards the roof.

Joe took out his phone without missing a heartbeat, spinning it quickly in his hands once before he started typing. He could feel Gwil’s wondering eyes on him, so without stopping or looking up, he said, “I have a friend”.

“You always ‘have a friend’, how do you do that?”

“I just know a lot of people,” Joe shrugged and lied like second nature. He wasn’t about to tell his college professor and friend, casually over coffee ‘oh by the way, my family is part of the New York Mafia’, “Anyway, he’s putting up a play, maybe he can squeeze Ben in to audition for it.” 

“Oh, Joe, that would be great.” Gwil scrambled on his chair, leaning forward and watching his phone as Joe typed away, expectant. 

Joe stopped typing for a moment, one of his legs bouncing up and down under the table as he stared at the black rectangle in his hand and although it felt like forever, his friend, Rami, answered pretty quickly. “Okay, he says he can come and audition. I’m sending him Ben’s contact info.”

“Wow, that was impressive. Remind me to come straight to you if I ever need a job.” 

Joe shrugged and locked his phone, leaving it on the table. “Always happy to help,” He finished with a smile. 

Once Joe took care of that and Gwil was a lot more calmer about his friend’s future, they managed to relax, have their coffee and chat about their college life, upcoming projects and everything they usually talked about when they hang out together but on the back of Joe’s mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about Ben. Which wasn’t exactly rare because since he met the Brit, he occupies most of his thoughts throughout the day and, especially at night when he goes to bed by himself. But now it’s even more so because he knows someone’s wrong Ben and there’s this possessive side of him, the one he got from his family, that makes him want to make things right by and protect what’s his. 

But Ben is not his. 

\-----------------------------

It surprised Joe greatly when he got Ben’s call a few days after he contacted Rami about his audition and he was more than happy to oblige to a dinner with blond. He offered to choose the place but Ben wanted to take care of everything himself, saying it’s always him or Gwil who does it, being the one who knows the city more. “Let me do it this time,” The blond asked and Joe was learning fast that there’s very little he could say no to when it came to Ben, so he agreed. He was also pleasantly surprised to find out that the dinner was just them two. 

Joe felt silly for struggling to choose what to wear and kept reminding himself that this wasn’t a date, he was just meeting a friend for dinner. That’s all. And yet, nothing he had in his closet seemed to be good enough or nice enough or ironed properly or even casual enough. He ran his fingers through all his button ups, carefully hung on one side but shook his head. “Too much,” he thought. Then went over to his sweaters, folding and unfolding them one by one until he finally decided on a plain dark blue one. It was the safest choice and the sweater was nice enough for both casual or a bit more than that. Finally deciding on a pair of khakis and white sneakers, he stared at himself in the mirror for a while. Joe second guessed his choice but, luckily for him, he also ran out of time to keep struggling with his outfit so this would have to do. 

Twenty minutes after that and five minutes earlier than the time Ben had set for them to meet, he was at the street junction where they were supposed to meet. He paced around the corner, looking at shop windows and checking his phone, probably almost every few seconds because sometimes the minutes wouldn’t even change from the previous time he checked. Did he mention he hated tardiness? Well he hated it even more when he was anxious. Fifteen minutes after Joe got there and ten minutes after the agreed time, Ben arrived. With a cigarette in hand he quickened his step to get to him and, of course, Joe forgot his apprehension about tardiness as soon as he saw the Brit, all 5’10 of him, standing there in front of him in a dark grey button up shirt with the first few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up paired nicely with dark blue jeans. 

They looked at each other for a moment from a distance and both of them smiled at the same time, closing in on one another. 

“Hey mate,” Ben started, exhaling smoke from his almost finished stick, “sorry I’m late, subway was shit.” 

“Don’t worry, I just got here.” Joe lied and cursed inwardly for doing so. Usually, he’d have a go at the person, probably more than he should, but whenever he caught a glimpse of Ben’s smile, Joe’s insides turned to putty.

“Ready to go?” The blond pointed with his head for Joe to follow and stubbed the butt of his cigarette on a bin nearby before throwing it away. 

“I’m equal parts curious and hungry so yes, more than ready,” 

Ben let out a silent chuckle, “alright then, let’s do this.”


	6. Chapter 6

Oh my god. Ok. Oh fuck. Joe was hot. Ben, somehow, had forgotten this in the last few days since seeing him. But the way that his trousers fitted around his thighs had Ben drooling on the spot. It took all his will power to pull his eyes away, but he was greeted with the cutest smile he could ever see and he answered with his own.

The restaurant he’d picked was only a few shop fronts down, but the way Ben’s heart was beating made it seem as if he’d just ran a marathon. They made their way over there silently, although it wasn’t awkward as Ben held open the door with a small bow and a cheeky grin before a waitress came over and asked for the reservation.

“Hardy,” Ben answered, noticing the confused look on Joe’s face but he ignored it, focusing instead on the way the waitress’ nail polish was slightly chipped and she had that tired tint to her eyes. They walked through the place, weaving through the other guests until they got to their table by one of the big, floor to ceiling windows. It wasn’t an overly fancy place, but it was nice enough that people came here for a more refined evening. The chairs were nice, but the fake leather was starting to peel a bit. The water jug had a lemon in it, a touch of class, but the ice had already started to melt due to it already being set on the table. Menu covers had the name printed on them but had faded with years of use. 

“I found this place on TripAdvisor, so don’t blame me if it’s shit,” Ben glanced down at the menu, seeing a few different styles of food, and was glad to see a few choices of burgers. He was in a mood for a real grease one.

Joe laughed, scanning over his menu. “If it’s shit, you're totally getting the blame”. They both sat in silence for a few beats longer until Joe placed his menu down. “What’s with the Hardy? I thought you were Jones? You been lying to me, Ben? Already?” He put a bit of humour in his voice, made sure it was light enough that Ben would know it was a joke.

“Hardy’s my stage name, and since I got the job and I’m going to be a paid actor again, I thought it was only fitting. And anyway, in Britain like most the population is a Jones so it’s kind of a habit to go under Hardy,” he shrugged, his menu coming to rest upon the table.

“Wait, you got the role?” Joe sat up straighter, his hands coming up to awkwardly move around the air. He was obviously excited yet didn’t know how excited he could get here. So, conducting the air was the way forward.

“Yeah, I did,” Ben ran a hand through his curls if only to stop himself from grabbing one of Joe’s hands, “and I wanted to thank you for the reference”. 

“Nothing to thank. I only told my friend you were an actor looking for a job and he wanted to meet you. I think the fact you were English sealed the deal” Joe chuckled. 

“Still, that was very nice of you,” Ben smiled kindly, hand dropping into his lap. When he’d walked into the meeting place with that Rami guy, he’d been so excited to see Ben and praised his reading of the scene he had very little time to prepare for that he thought maybe Joe had influenced his friend in choosing him. Which honestly didn’t feel great to him, in fact, that was one of the reasons for this dinner too, “Actually, I’m glad you said that”.

Joe hummed as he opened his menu and eyed it, “How so?” 

Ben paused for a moment which made Joe look up from the menu. “I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful, I’m not. And I know how to appreciate a good opportunity when it comes my way,” He paused for a moment, looking into Joe’s very attentive eyes. “But I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking this job knowing it was just handed to me and I didn’t really earn it,”

“That’s very honest of you and I get that, but no, I didn’t ask Rami to just hire you, that was all you. Apparently, you’re very talented,” Joe nodded, a massive smile on his face, “so congrats Ben! I like when looking out for friends pays off. I’d do the same for anyone else really, just happy to help”. That was a lie. A big fat one that left a tainted taste in Joe’s mouth. He wouldn’t do it for anyone, not even his closest friends, but Ben was different and Joe was willing to do anything to protect him.

Ben grinned, ignoring the slight tightness from where it was split yesterday. He’d be thankful that the black eye didn’t bloom too much, and he was able to use a little foundation to cover the worst of the bruising. He was glad that Joe was willing to ignore it as they both just glanced around the room. It seemed that was enough to signal one of the waiters over, and they were quick to order. Ben went for the biggest cheeseburger they had, whilst Joe went for some pasta.

The menu was one of those that had a bit of every style on it, and it seemed to be perfect for this place. People seemed to be enjoying themselves around the place, some digging into some well-displayed food whilst others sipped delicate drinks from cheap glasses. Ben smiled across the table, stretching his legs underneath it and if his feet brushed against Joe’s briefly, neither mentioned it.

\----------------------------------------

Food eaten and best stories said, the night was winding down but Ben was getting desperate to keep his company longer. The way Joe seemed to crease up whenever he laughed made Ben blush, and the way he always got really into the conversation and his eyes sparkled had Ben wishing he could reach up and steal the stars for this man.

Yeah, ok, he’d fallen hard, but with a guy like Joe, it was understandable. He’d been his first real friend from New York when he moved here (Gwil didn’t class, he was more of a brother now than a friend) and had been part of his daydreams since the second time they’d met.

When he first got offered the role, he was somewhat disappointed but accepted anyway. He thought that Joe had told his friend to hire him, he always seemed to get people to do what he wanted, but now that he’d been reassured, it meant he’d fallen fully for this guy. He hoped that Joe felt the same way because it might destroy him if he didn’t, but he’d seemed to take all of Ben’s flirting throughout the night in his stride. So when it came to paying the bill, Ben was ready to reach across and use his last paycheck to pay this off, trying to impress Joe.

But when the cheque came, Joe grabbed it the moment it was put on the table. Ben protested, saying he’d been the one to invite him out but Joe waved him off, opening his wallet and pulling out $50. Ben’s eyebrows raised, knowing the bill came nowhere near that, and even with a tip on top, it wouldn’t reach that, but Joe placed it down on the little silver tray before standing up from his chair, wallet slipping into his back pocket as he waited for Ben to stand up.

“Man, really, I wanted to pay for this,” Ben pushed his chair back in a rush, standing quickly and following Joe like a well-trained dog, “I asked you out tonight so I should be the one to pay”. 

“How about you buy me a drink?” Joe grabbed the door, pulling it open and smiling at Ben as he passed out into the cold. Ben seemed lost for words but nodded, smiling back as they fell into a natural step beside each other. 

Joe seemed to radiate something which made Ben want to bend over backwards (or really anyway, if Joe asked), and it seemed to be the same to other people because as they walked down the street, people stepped out of their way. He didn’t break stride, confident enough that the other groups would rather separate than get in his way, and it was all Ben could do to stay with him. 

Joe crossed the street, hand coming to Ben’s back to lead him across as New York traffic seemed endless, and of course, Joe doesn’t use crossings. But with the hand between his shoulder blades, Ben felt like he was on cloud nine. Slowly, as they came closer to the sidewalk, the hand ran down his back to rest on his lower back, and honestly Ben wished he would remember the feeling for the rest of his life. Every finger left a burning imprint on his skin, and he gasped in a breath, heartbeat increasing with each step it remained there. And even when they were back on the sidewalk and making their way to the bar Joe liked around here, it stayed. He glanced to his side, and Joe looked over, raising his eyebrows. Ben gave a curt nod, letting him know that it was ok, he wanted it there, and they kept walking. 

But all too soon, they were coming to a stop outside a low lit bar. A glance through the window showed it was popular with all ages, and Ben chewed his bottom lip as he turned to look at Joe. “Hey, ugh, I just want to say that, uhm, I’m really happy right now?” He ended it like a question, unsure that it was the right thing to say at this moment. Was it? Is that what you usually say when your hot crush is taking you to his favourite bar and has had his hand on your back for a block and a half?

By the way, Joe grinned and shrugged, it seemed to be. “Yeah, me too,” he glanced at his feet, shuffling on the spot before reaching forward to grab Ben’s hand. “How about that drink?”

Ben grinned, squeezing the fingers interlaced with his own as they walked into the busy bar.

\--------------------

Two hours and a few rounds later, they walked back out, blushing like nuns in a sex shop. It was a perfect end to their non-date-date, and as Joe offered to walk Ben back to his, Ben grinned wider. 

Hands coming back together, they walked down streets until they came to a subway entrance, hopping down the steps and straight onto a train. With not enough seats, it was only polite for Ben to sit on Joe’s knee as they continued their conversations in whispered giggles. They felt like teenagers, with the way they were acting. Now that it was obvious they both liked one another, they kept as close as publicly allowed. 

But as they exited the subway and came back out on top, Joe began to come back to his senses. They were in one of the shady districts of New York. And they seemed to be going deeper and deeper.

Joe knew quite a few bad people from around here. Heck, one of their best men grew up two streets over, and he was known for his violence. Gripping the blond's hand a bit tighter, he picked up their pace. He didn’t want to hang around here longer than needed, in case he got recognised. He could not be arsed for a turf war right about now. How didn’t he know before today that Ben lived here?

The Brit continued to tell anecdotes about this place, pointing out a few storefronts he frequented that Joe knew weren’t actual shops, and Joe’s frown kept getting deeper and deeper. For the last four months, Ben had been in a dangerous place without even knowing it. 

They came up to an apartment block that Joe was thankful wasn’t the worst on the street.

“Well,” Ben leant against the metal gate that was the front door, “this is me,” he nodded upward, but Joe could tell that he wasn’t proud of the place. Graffiti marked this place all over, kids signatures and scribbles as high as they could get. One of the steps leading up to this place was cracked, badly, and wobbled anytime anyone stepped on one, but the council couldn’t be arsed to deal with it, neither could the landlord. 

Joe smiled tightly back at Ben, eyes going around and scanning the area. No one was really paying them any mind, but there was definitely a drug deal going on at the corner. Ben laughed, his free hand coming to cup Joe’s cheek, bringing him back to the stunning green eyes in front of him, and his smile relaxed and became more genuine. “Why don’t you call a cab and I’ll wait out here with you?” Gentle thumb ran across his cheekbone, and Joe couldn’t help but wonder if these hands had ever handled a gun. Maybe he should get one for Ben. But Joe nodded, pulling out his phone and texting one of their drivers. Like hell was he going to get a normal cab, not at their prices. He’d only be waiting a few minutes anyway, so he felt no shame getting someone to come and grab him from here. 

“I would offer you to come up, but I don’t have any coffee to tempt you with,” Ben bit his bottom lip, hiding his smirk. “You're more than welcome to come though if you really want to?” Ben took half a step forward, and Joe could smell that incredible smell of Ben, cigarettes and a touch of alcohol. 

Joe grinned, eyes flickering to Ben’s lips but he shook his head, “although I’d love that, maybe another time?” He could see the disappointment but Ben nodded nonetheless. Joe cooed, his other hand coming to rest at Ben’s waist as he squeezed the blonds fingers, “hey hey, none of that pouting now,” he teased.

Ben pushed his bottom lip out further but couldn’t help the laugh. 

That’s what did it for Joe.

He moved forward slowly, so as not to startle Ben, and gently pressed their lips together. He felt the happy hum against his own, Ben’s hand on his cheek moving to cup the back of his head, pulling him closer to continue kissing.

Neither were in much of a rush, just lazy kissing and sinking in the moment. But even Joe doesn’t have the patience of a saint, and slowly he turned Ben to press him gently against the wall behind him. Ben bit back a moan, moving one hand to Joe’s shoulder as the other ran through his hair. Licking gently into Ben’s mouth, Joe had to make sure this didn’t turn dirty very quickly, and used a finger in Ben’s belt loop to pull him closer, but managed to keep control of himself by a thread.

They both jumped when they heard a car beep, and Joe glanced over his shoulder to see a familiar black car with tinted windows. He sighed, resting his forehead against Ben’s as he took a moment. “That’s my ride,” he explained, giving Ben a quick peck before he took half a step back. The way Ben whined made Joe want to fall back into his arms, but he couldn’t, not right now. He needed to take this slow. This wasn’t just a hookup to him, and he hoped the same for Ben, so he grabbed Ben’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll let you know when I get home safe, ‘kay? And we can arrange a proper date soon, I swear,” Joe smiled back at Ben, watching the curls nod as he took another step back. “Be careful, Jones,” he saluted but had to drag his eyes off of the blushing face he’d just been kissing.

Jogging across the street to the car, Joe slid in. He said nothing, but the driver knew where to go, and it wasn’t long until they got caught in the New York traffic. He glanced down at his phone, seeing Ben sent him a kissy emoji, and Joe laughed, sending back a heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Things were looking up for Ben. Last week, he’d kissed Hottie Mazzello, then began rehearsals for the new play, and then yesterday he’d found this awesome deal on tinned tomatoes. So not only was he loved up, in good employment, but he was also eating good! He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he read through the new script changes. Malek was a genius, this play was going to be a hit. 

“Ok,” Rami clapped to gather the actors attention as he sat somewhere in the empty theatre seats, “let’s go over this scene one more time. Let me know what you guys think, alright?” Ben nodded, and the lead actress next to him nodded along.

He’d met Lucy when he’d first auditioned as she already had the role before Ben was signed on. She was Rami’s girlfriend, but they’d been working together longer than they’d been together and had a nice professional relationship. She was so good, a real natural on stage, and Ben got on well with her due to the shared British humour they had.

Getting into position, Ben scanned over the section again before adding the emphasis in a different section of the sentence. He heard Rami whoop of joy from the darkness, and couldn’t help the proud bloom in his chest. Lucy tweaked her own, and they managed to finish the section without looking at the script again. They were a few weeks away from opening, and things seemed to be working well at the moment. 

“Right,” climbing up the steps and onto the stage, Rami came over and clapped Ben on the shoulder, “I think that does it. Man, you guys are going to smash it, I can tell,” he does a little twirl in excitement, punching the air a few times as the others laugh. It was only these three here right now, the other smaller parts being excused early so they could workshop some of the more important scenes, and after a few hours, it seemed they were all happy. 

Ben could feel the sweat sticking to his top and his back, the stage lights were overly warm as they had to run over and over and over again, but he didn’t mind, it was good. He had a good friendship here with these two, and if Joe wasn’t due to pick him up soon, he’d be suggesting a celebratory drink.

He and Joe had their first official date two days after the not-date-date, and they’d done the typical coffee shop business. They were actually due another today as they were both basics at this and couldn’t come up with anything better right now.

“Well, if you think it’s good,” Ben used the rolled up script in his hand to point between the couple, both nodding with smiles, “I’m going to hit the showers and leave, yeah?” Again, more nodding as he walked backwards into the wings, spinning on his heel as he marched towards the little bathroom they had. He grabbed laid out his clean clothes, and had a brief shower before getting dressed in a rush. He was overly excited to see Joe again, having given the pub quiz on Thursday a miss as he had to get used to the script. Although it had been a few days since they’d seen each other, they still managed to text everyday yet that wasn’t enough.

Waving his goodbye’s to the others, Ben stepped down the hallway and out the stage door. Instantly, he saw Joe, leaning against the wall of the side alley waiting for him. His leather jacket looked pristine, along with his perfectly pressed jeans and sweater, and Ben felt a little underdressed, but that didn’t seem to matter to Joe who took a few steps to meet him halfway with a hungry kiss, hand coming to rest against Ben’s lower back and pulling him close. They stayed like that for a few seconds until Ben pulled back, chuckling as Joe tried to follow him lips. Hands on either side of Joe’s face, Ben smiled a gentle “hey,” his voice barely a whisper but Joe’s eyes sparkled that special way that Ben knew was only his. 

“Hey,” Joe grinned before grabbing Ben’s bag and throwing it over his shoulder, ignoring Ben’s complaints as he took his hand in his own and started walking. “So, tell me how it’s all going?”

“Well,” Ben did a little skip from excitement, and Joe laughed beside him, their hands swinging gently between them, “it’s going really well! Really fucking good, actually! In fact, Rami thinks were ahead of schedule. He’s also been telling me a few anecdotes about the two of you,” Ben smirked, squeezing the fingers between his own.

Joe groaned, rolling his eyes, “don’t believe anything that man says,” Ben laughed and Joe grinned, “I’m innocent, I swear!”

“Oh, so the two of you breaking into the library late at night just because you were bored is a lie?” Ben teased.

“100% a lie”

“How about the time you both got so drunk you forgot your own name?”

“Never happened, I swear”

“Are you lying to me Mazzello?” Ben pretended to glare at Joe, who just makes an overly innocent face and they laugh down the street.

They duck into the coffee shop a few blocks away, Ben insisting he pays before they’re back out on the sidewalk. The seem to be walking aimlessly until Joe takes a turn and takes Ben through some park gates.

“Oh wait, is this-?” Ben starts, stopping in the middle of the path to look around, half drunk coffee being tilted this way and that way as he thinks about his answer.

“Central Park? Yeah. You never been before?” Ben shakes his head and Joe raises his eyebrows. “Oh. Well, welcome!” He starts pulling Ben along with him.

It’s quite amusing to watch Ben as he looks around. It’s not that different of a park to what they have in London, but the way the Brit is reacting has Joe’s cheeks hurting. He looks a right tourist with each stop he does at the little maps and information boards. He seems to want to know everything he can about this place, watching the ducks waddle across and the families having a casual stroll. It’s like he’s never been to a park this big before.

“What you thinking about?” They’re sat on one of the benches, Joe arm thrown over the back of the metal seat. Ben sat slightly forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looked out on one of the lakes below. He shrugged, eyes glazed over as he seems to be in his own world.

“Nothing really. Well, actually, I was thinking about how it feels so weird that this is my life now,” he uses one hand to signal across the park in front. Joe tilts his head, and Ben contunies. “A little over a week ago, I was getting ready to move back to Britain,” he sighed, leaning backwards and against Joe’s arm, “I was ready to give up my dreams and work with my parents. But, you seemed to come down from the heavens and change my life in, what, a couple of days? How the hell did you do that?”

Joe let his arm move to Ben’s shoulder, pulling him properly against his side and the blond rested his head against Joe’s shoulder, “it wasn’t me Ben, you did all this. I just got the ball rolling on one tiny piece, that’s it,” he leant his head against the top of Ben’s, and they just sat there like that for awhile. But eventually it was time to go, and out onto the streets they went, holding hands.

\-----------------

Joe still wasn’t happy about Ben living in this area, but there wasn’t much that he could do about that. He offered to carry Ben’s bag up the stairs, and Ben grinned with a little blush. Although he’d invited himself up to the blonds apartment, he didn’t seem to be complaining. 

Once they came to his door, Ben seemed a bit hesitant, so Joe leant in, kissing his neck gently. He didn’t want to pressure his boy into doing anything, but they couldn’t keep doing public dates. Surely someone would see them, and right now, with his father’s declining health, the Mazzellos didn’t need to have a visual weakness. And Ben would soon become his. 

So when he heard the key turn in the lock, and the door swing open, Joe smirked against Ben’s neck, hands on his hips as Ben walked slowly forward. Once they were both in, Joe raised his head and couldn’t help the little frown. This place was tiny. A bed, small sofa, kitchen area and a small bathroom. You could see everything from one space. And although Joe knew he was in a lucky situation financially, this was pretty bad.

“It ain’t much,” Ben chuckled, sounding fake to his own ears, “sorry if you were expecting more. Four walls and a roof, I guess,” he turns around in Joe’s arms, chewing his bottom lip anxiously as he scans the auburn eyes. 

Joe takes another look around before smiling at Ben, “it’s cute”.

“Don’t lie,” Ben rolled his eyes lightheartedly, “as I said, four walls and a roof”.

“Well anywhere is cute if you're in it,” Joe grinned, shrugging his shoulders and gaining a laugh from Ben. He leant in, kissing that laugh into his mouth. 

Ben’s lips turned upward as he smiled into the kiss, hands coming to the front of Joe’s jacket and holding him close. They kept kissing, and Ben heard a thud of his bag dropping to the floor. He took half a step back, pulling Joe over to the sofa and they sat down quickly. Joe leant back in for a kiss, one hand coming to rest on Ben’s waist as the other cards through his hair. It doesn't take them long to deepen the kiss and Ben’s hands are back at Joe’s jacket. He starts pushing it off his shoulders, and lets out a quiet moan as Joe shrugs it off. Wandering hands come to the American’s arms, and Ben moans all over again as he feels the hard muscles there. He can feel Joe grinning against his lips, and Ben takes his bottom lip between his teeth and pulls slightly before pulling back fully. Joe looked a sight, his eyes beginning to darken and lips swollen and red. Not being able to hold back the smile, Ben grabs the back of Joe’s head and pulls him in for another kiss.

Although it’s nice to be able to makeout like this, Joe needed to slow it down. Yes, he might have had a small lapse and had given in, but he couldn't risk ruining this already. So he pulled back a bit, ignoring Ben’s annoyed huff as he slowed the kiss down. He had to keep control of himself, and although it was very hard when you have a man like Ben underneath you, Joe had always been known for keeping a level head.

“I’m sorry--” Joe apologised.

“Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you I-- I got carried away, I’d rather we take things a little slower if you don’t mind.”

The disappointment in Ben’s eyes made him bite his own bottom lip and he had to take strength from where he didn’t know he had to not kiss the frown away from Ben’s face. 

“I’m sorry Ben--”

“You don’t have to be, it’s fine--” 

When his phone vibrated, he was tempted to ignore it, but he knew it was an important text. He has a certain rhythm set out for when it’s a family member, and when he feels it in his back pocket, he sighs pulling away from Ben completely, grabbing his phone as he apologised one more time. He felt his stomach drop when he saw the text.

“Shit-- I--” He fumbled with his phone for a moment, worry denting between his eyebrows. “I gotta go,”

“Joe, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I promise. I’m sorry.” 

“No, Ben,” Joe shook his head and cupped Ben’s face between his hands once he put his phone away, “It’s not you, I swear.” He pecked his lips once, twice, a few times more. “You were perfect. You’re perfect and we’ll do this again I promise but I really have to go, it’s a family matter,”

“Oh-- yeah of course, sorry.” 

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Joe gave him a reassuring smile and really hoped this wasn’t blowing his chances with the blond. But he really had to go. So, he put his jacket back on and stood from the couch, Ben in tow. They kissed each other again by the door, a longer more meaningful kiss to let Ben know he really meant what he said, about this not being about him and a minute later he was out on the streets, one of his father’s cars parked at the front door of the building. Once in the car he opened the text again and felt his stomach drop just as before when he saw four simple words from his father.

“We need to talk”

In their line of business, that was never good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And slowly, we're getting to the Mafia chapters! Thanks for sticking around through the character development chapters, there should be some action soon, and oh-ho don't worry, we have some big action scenes planned for later chapters! 
> 
> Please tell us what you think in the comments! Good, bad, ugly, we don't mind! We'd rather just have some feedback and know what you'd all want to see in this story


	8. Chapter 8

Joe worried the inside of his cheek, climbing up the few flights of stairs that seperated the main lobby area with where the real work happens. He nodded at the few guards standing outside. He’d known these men for a good quarter of his life, and they nodded back as they stepped by and let him through, a well reassured dance. They knew if the big man up top called someone in, it was easier not to cause them more hassle.

The room was cold and Joe had to hold back a shiver. Dark, except for a lamp sitting beside his father’s desk, Joe couldn’t really make out the impression of Joseph Mazzello Jr. He came to a stop just in front of the heavy desk. His father looked up, heavy brow set as he tossed a paper file onto the wood. He signalled for Joe to grab it, and with sweaty palms, he looked at the contents.

A photo of him and Ben in that restaurant from last week. Photo of them walking down the street with Joe’s hand on the blonds back. A blurry closeup of them laughing at the bar, sitting a little too close to pull off being friends. Another photo, this time outside Ben’s apartment as Joe leant in to kiss. One of them mid-makeout followed by a clear shot of Joe’s face as they said goodbye. 

Another set of photos from their first date. Blushing faces and gently kisses all clicked away on camera without Joe even noticing. He knew why he’d been called in. Someone had found his weak point. 

But when he came to the final few, he felt his blood run cold. Solo photos, all of Ben around the city. They’d followed him, had marked his frequent spots and they seemed to have someone following Ben around the city. He gaped, flicking through them.

Unknowingly, Joe had already dragged danger into the blonds life.

“Dad, I can explain-” Joe started to beg, waving the photos in one hand and the empty folder in another.

“No need, Joe,” he cut across his son, voice coloured will illness they all willingly ignored, “I can see this guys special to you, so we gonna sort this, right?”

Chewing his bottom lip, Joe nodded, letting his hands empty on the desk. “How did we get these photos? What dick took these?”

“We don’t know, yet,” his dad sighed, leaning forward in his chair and gracing his profile in light. “They were handed to us by one of our underground dogs, but he claims they’d been left by his shit and he didn’t know who’d done it. So now, one of our guys has been compromised and your man is being tracked,” he prodded at the photos, the one of Joe and Ben smiling in the bar. “You gotta look out for him, we’ll deal with the rest”. Joe held eye contact with his father as he leant back in his seat and back into the shadows. Joe nodded, a feeling of importance settling on his shoulders. “We got a small team willing to do some work for you, alright? Some desk jockeys wanting to be part of the big shots, so I thought you could coach them up a bit, okay? Show ‘em the right from wrong and make sure to teach ‘em a lesson if they step out of line”.

He nodded at his father again, and gladly took the new file from his dads hands. A couple profile pieces on the new guys. They’d proven loyal, had done dirty work for a few innings and records came up clean. But they were inexperienced, and needed a run out.

Seeming as Joe himself wasn’t that high in the pecking order, he’d often bring them through. He was good at finding peoples strengths, often got them in the right place with only minimal shuffling, so he was used to this. And anyway, he had something to protect this time.

He was dismissed soon after, and as he made his way out of The Den, he scanned the profiles again and started hatching a plan. 

\---------------

It didn’t take much to set up the plan, and the ball was rolling before the night was through. Hollander, trained through a sniper scope and worked on intel gathering, was going to be set up in the apartment complex opposite Ben’s. It was owned by a small and lesser-known Mafia family, but they weren’t a threat to the big guys, and it wasn’t hard to get Hollander in there. Joe himself hung back, but was kept in the loop as they moved into the place. Good place, riddled with damp and the electricity flickered, but it had a good eye line with Ben’s window and he could be out and in the street in under a minute.

Leech, better at hand to hand combat and an expert at trailing was set up much closer to Ben. Three doors down was an empty lot. Much the same as Ben’s place, it was slightly bigger and Leech only complained a little before accepting his fate after a few pointed looks from his boss. It was handy to have him so close - he could monitor hallways and stairwells when Joe wasn’t there, and after working a desk job for a few years, Leech knew a few technology tricks and got a few bugs set up to keep an eye around the place. 

Luckily for them all, this place was actually clean of other powerful people, and Joe knew he could relax a little when he walked around the place. It was also good that the two newbies were so unknown that they didn’t show up on any radar. No one had leaked them yet, and they had another member who was happy enough to work the computers. 

Two months they thought this mission would take. Long enough to settle everything, find out who had found them so quickly and sort it out. It was a good way for them to stretch their legs, and Joe set up a server for them all to keep in contact about anything and everything. 

He had to admit, he was already feeling calmer knowing Ben was safer. Even if it didn’t work out between them for some reason, Ben would have to be protected to ensure his safety. And even after spending a little bit of time with the new recruits, he knew they’d be good. He had a text in the evening from Leech confirming the blonds position, Hollander confirming Ben was indeed going through a somewhat short bedtime routine, and it wasn’t long for the light to turn off.

The next morning he had another short update, checking his texts halfway through a lecture and seeing Ben was in rehearsals. The Brit had messaged him as well, a goofy picture of Rami with some photo filter on it meaning he had dog ears on and Joe smiled, sending back a few emojis before going back to learning. 

It went like that throughout most the day, short updates whenever Ben moved drastically (he’d have to have a talk about the fact he didn’t need to be updated each time Ben went to the toilet) and a few from the guy himself telling small anecdotes of how the day was going. 

He was just finishing his last seminar of the day, discussing something briefly with the tutor about the work when his phone started chirping happily in his bag. He smiled his goodbye before ducking out the room, fishing out the ringing device as he started to leave the building. 

\--------------------------------------

If he was being honest, the events of the night before kept lingering in his mind throughout the day. Ben couldn’t stop thinking he crossed a line somewhere with Joe and even though he told him he was leaving because of a family matter, he still felt a little guilty like he was pushing Joe into doing something he didn’t want to do or wasn’t ready to do. Joe didn’t seem cross with him, they texted during the day and it felt normal but he still felt like an apology was due. So when rehearsals were finally over, he bid his goodbye to his castmates and director and headed out to a coffee shop nearby to get something for him and Joe. 

Once he was outside of the place, he fished out his phone and went to Joe’s contact to give him a call, both coffees in hand and waited for the line to connect. 

“Don’t laugh,” He started once he was greeted at the other end and, of course, the next thing he hears is a soft chuckle from Joe, “I wanted to surprise you with coffee and as soon as I stepped out of the coffee shop I realised-- I don’t know where you live,” he closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip and shook his head to himself, “can you please come save me from embarrassment? I’m at that place we bought coffee before going to Central Park,”

“I’ll be there in 10,” was Joe’s response and he found himself smiling.

“See you then”

Exactly 9 minutes and 40 seconds later, Ben saw Joe looking both ways as he crossed the street towards him and exactly 10 minutes after the phone call, the redhead was standing in front of him. Ben had no idea how Joe did it, perfect punctuality. Ben was terrible at it, always late. He even counted being only 10 minutes late as not being late. He shook the thought away for now and stretched one of the coffees towards Joe. He grinned at the man approaching him, not letting in on his secret of timing him. It was a little game Ben played, and so far, Joe had always arrived within a minute of when he said he’d be there.

“Almond milk.” He announced with a shrug as he stretched the cup in front of him for Joe to grab it, letting him know he remembered his dietary restrictions. And Joes eyes crinkled as he beamed at Ben, leaning in to kiss him slow on the street, the American’s hand coming to rest on Ben’s waist before he pulled back and took an appreciative sip of his drink.

“Thank you, hi,” Joe sang-song, happy to see Ben again already, “you already missed me? We only saw each other last night,” the redhead asked smugly with a small chuckle.

“Would it be wrong if I was?” Ben teased back, gesturing with his head forward so Joe would follow him and immediately took the older man’s hand in his as they began to walk around New York. 

“Nothing wrong with it,” Ben could see Joe smiling to himself, his cheeks a lovely pink with a mix of amusement and the bitter air.

“It wasn’t the only reason why I wanted to see you, though”

“Oh?” Joe asked, eyebrows lifted, right before taking another sip from his coffee. 

“I was kind of a prick last night,” Ben admitted, eyes coming down towards the pavement as he felt an embarrassed tinge tighten his chest momentarily.

“What? No you weren’t”

“I know you said it wasn’t it but-- I really didn’t mean to push you to do anything you don’t want to do, or you’re not ready to do. I just thought we were on the same page but I would’ve stopped, would have been fine with just making out,” he glanced over at Joe as they walked, his explanation hanging in the air for a few beats. Ben really didn’t want Joe to think of him as someone who couldn't keep it in his pants, that really wasn’t him, he just got carried away the night before. 

“I promise you that is not why I left. Although I have to say, I want to take things slow with you because I really like you,” Joe said in all honesty and Ben couldn’t help but blush a little, “But you are very hard to resist so I’m kind of glad I got that text,” 

As they were walking, Ben noticed he wasn’t the one leading the way, at least not intentionally and he had no idea where they were or where they were going. They made a few turns here and there but Ben was lost in the conversation and honestly didn’t mind getting lost in New York with Joe. 

“Alright,” Ben nodded and chuckled, taking a few sips of the cooling coffee. Hanging around outside hadn’t been the best thing for the drinks, but the lack of temperature didn’t matter. 

“I always check my phone whenever it sounds, no matter where I am because it could be my family” Joe sighed, squeezing Ben’s hand in his, “my dad’s ill and I need to know how he’s doing,” he confessed, even though Ben wasn’t asking him for any explanation.

“Shit, Joe,” Now he really felt like a prick, and he said told him exactly that next, “and here I was making it all about me, now I really do feel like a prick, I’m sorry” he let out a long sigh, worrying the inside of his cheek

“No need to be sorry, you didn’t know,” Joe suddenly came to a stop and Ben looked around a little, coming out of their bubble and into the city surrounding him. He’s rarely around this part, it looks too fancy for him even being there in his old worn-out jeans and equally old sweatshirt. But when he looks ahead to Joe in front of him, he notices he looks just right in perfectly pressed pants and a colour-coordinated outfit. “Would you like to see my place?”

Ben looked around and behind him and frowned, “umm-- yeah sure,” Joe surely didn’t mean - 

“Come on in,” Joe pointed behind him with his head to the big and beautiful antique building behind him. It almost looked like a fancy hotel but it was clearly an apartment building. The tall windows gleamed in the late afternoon sun, as tall arches framed them. A corner building, it stood tall against the other’s around it, hanging baskets full of flowers either side of the main entrance added a burst of vibrant colour into the muted City. Joe smiled at Ben, taking a few steps backwards before turning around and striding in, doorman giving him a curt nod as he held the heavy door open, and Joe strode in confidently, holding Ben’s hand the entire time. 

And Ben followed him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're desperatley trying to keep ahead of this so we can post this weekly, but it would be super helpful if you guys let us know what you think of the story? Maybe you want to see something in particular? Or maybe you just comment one word so we know people are reading this!
> 
> Honestly, we would love you forever, so please just let us know how we're doing?


	9. Chapter 9

Everything about this place seemed purposeful. Polished wooden floors reflected the light in the main lobby, a security desk positioned with flowers across the countertop, the guards actually seeming to be happy doing their job. The grand chandelier above cast the room in a warm light, instantly calming compared to the city lights outside, and Ben noted briefly that the moment the door closed, you could hear nothing from the outside. 

Joe breezed past everyone, making sure Ben wasn’t being rushed as they came to the lifts. Joe pressed a button, the lift made a noise, and then something at the security desk pinged as well. Ben glanced over his shoulder, seeing the guards glance their way before clicking something on one of the many monitors and the light for going up lit up above the lift. Ben took an instinctive step towards Joe, pressing himself against the man's side. He felt like he was dirtying the place, bringing it’s high standard down with his disheveled sporty look. 

As the doors slid effortlessly open, Ben caught a glimpse of himself in the wall to wall mirrors. They stepped in, but he couldn’t pull his eyes from himself looking back at him. Standing next to Joe, you could tell they lived different lifestyles. Joe seemed effortlessly put together, standing tall and naturally drawing attention to himself in any room, whilst Ben seemed better on the sidelines, with his tired eyes and messy hair. He dragged his eyes down to their feet, his well worn converse compared to Joe’s well polished leather boots. He curled his toes as if that would make his shoes looker smaller.

“Hey,” once again, Joe pulled Ben out of his bubble. Wide eyes caught the confident glance in the mirror, and Joe squeezed their interlaced fingers, voice soft, “get outta that pretty little head of yours, alright?” Ben nodded automatically as Joe’s eyes stared into his soul. But it wasn’t vicious, it wasn’t a look that wanted to hurt him, it was a look of a man who already knew what was going on. Although Joe was only a few years older than him, he seemed to have a weathered head on top of his sturdy shoulders, viewing the world in a different light than the rest of them. And Ben wanted to know the landscape behind Joe’s eyes.

The doors pinged open, and Joe turned around, wrapping his arm around Ben’s waist instead as they walked out. There was only one door ahead of them, and they stood in a little lobby area. Polished wood matching the floors of the main lobby reflected the patterned wallpaper, lights hung around on the walls making the place seem warmer. But this wasn’t a place to sit and talk. The only furniture was a marble side table, a grand lamp glittering on top of it, the light warm for the lack of windows in here. 

Joe walked forward and kept Ben close to his side, fishing out a key from his pocket, wiggling it around for a moment before the tall door swung open. Ben's eyes went wide as he stepped into one of the largest living rooms he’s seen in person. 

Large windows bathed the room in natural light, long streaks of sunlight warming the rugs thrown around on the floor and the large sofa sitting facing the television. There were nicknacks all around, personal touches making the room come together as it led into the open plan kitchen, all done in dark navy and marble whites. 

Joe hung his coat on the hook by the door and placed both their coffees on a small table underneath, “My parents got me this place,” He started explaining as if he could read Ben’s mind thinking a million and one questions, “They have this business and wanted to make sure me and my siblings were looked after. So, they got us property,” he said, watching as Ben took a few steps into the place. The blond already suited the room, Joe thought, looking like he was practically made for this lifestyle, and the redhead felt his chest tighten in reminder that this lifestyle came from the ashes of blood. 

“I help out when I can, but I wanna do my own thing, you know?” he shrugged. Ben finally turned to look at him, perfect lips parted in awe as it took a moment for it all to sink in. 

“What the fuck?” Ben said in one breath before he let out a choked laugh, lips turning up in a smile, “what the actual fuck, Mazzello? You live like a king, and want to hang out at my place? We could’ve been here the whole freaking time?!”

Joe laughed, coming over and placing his hands on Ben’s hips, the blonds arms wrapping around his neck like they shouldn’t be anywhere else. Ben craned his neck, still taking in the full expanse of the place. “I don’t show this place to many people, Ben,” Joe leant in and kissed his cheek, “don’t like looking like a dickhead, so this place is only reserved to those I trust”. He watched as Ben smiled, eyes crinkling at the sides, and Joe smiled back.

“Wait,” Ben eyes were looking down the corridor, and Joe half turned in their embrace, “does that corridor turn a corner?” Ben broke away, but grabbed Joe's hand and pulled him with him, the smiling faces of Joe’s family leading them down the hallway. They came to the corner Ben had spotted and the blond turned around to face Joe. “The corridor is bigger than my whole apartment!” He sounded breathless, half not believing his own words, and Joe's heart at that moment decided that he’d do whatever this man asked of him.

Eventually, Joe gave him a quick stop tour. Showed him each room; spare bedroom, his bedroom, ensuite, study, bathroom, kitchen, dining area, living area. Ben loved each one, and his fingers traced the photo frames that Joe loved, asking what certain ones were before he came to a picture of Joe’s parents. Standing on the beach somewhere in the 70s, Joe's dad had his arm around his mom's waist, both looking at the camera with the biggest smile on their face. To Ben, it looked like a nice holiday snap, but Joe knew that it was more than that. It was the day his dad stepped up and took the main seat of the family business. He smiled back at the familiar photo, Ben fitting against his side and they mirrored the image unconsciously. 

“You look like him,” Ben whispered, feeling the calming mood settled over them. His hand on Joe’s back held onto the fabric of his shirt as he looked up at the picture in front of them, “got the same look in your eyes. Same smile, too” he rested his head against Joe’s shoulder and felt the thanking squeeze around his waist. 

“You think? Everyone always say I look exactly like my mom.” Joe stared a little more at the picture in front of them.

“Maybe the perfect combination of both, yeah. Terribly handsome either way,”

Joe gave him a little shove and Ben held him even tighter. They stood like that for a few beats more before Joe broke away from their little bubble, making his way over to the kitchen. “Want anything? Snacks? Drinks? I feel like I should be a good host and at least offer you these things,” he chuckled, half glancing at Ben as he jumped up onto one of the bar stools. He placed his chin in the palm of his hand, watching Joe fuss around nothing on the perfectly clean countertops.

“You?” Ben quizzed, really taking in Joe’s silhouette. The man seemed calmer here, as if he didn’t need to be looking over his shoulder every few seconds, and it was the first time Ben had really seen the crinkles around his eyes. They looked good, really suited the redhead.

“Well, I dunno if I want-” Joe started, leaning against one of the cabinets as he looked at Ben sitting at his kitchen counter. They’ve never looked better.

“No,” Ben chuckled, head dipping for a moment but laughter stayed in his eyes as he looked back up at Joe, “I meant you. Are you on the menu too?” His tongue peaked out between his teeth as he grinned cheekily at Joe.

The American laughed, “oh! Oh, well, it’s the chefs special actually!” He walked over, Ben turning in the barstool as Joe came and stood in front of him, moving between Bens legs with his hands coming to rest on strong thighs.

“Well, compliments to the chef then,” Ben placed his own hands over the top of Joe’s, his tanned skin looking better with Joe’s hands under them.

“You haven’t even tried it yet, Joe teased, leaning forward until their noses brushed, still smiling as he squeezed the thighs under his palms. 

“True, but I gotta say, the presentation is out of this world,” he said smoothly, leaning forward to kiss Joe and got a gentle hum out of him.

Ben slowly moved his hands from Joe’s through the redhead’s arms until they landed on his biceps and he brushed them over the fabric before they went up further and he wrapped his arms around Joe’s neck, pulling him more to himself and Joe responded positively, his hands running up from Ben’s thighs to his hips. The kiss that started slow and sweet stared to deepen and heat up after some time that neither of them could specify. Could have been only a couple of minutes, could have been a quarter of an hour, they didn’t know, they weren’t really thinking about time, or anything in a realm outside each other. Especially when Joe’s hands found their way underneath Ben’s hoodie and undershirt and landed straight over his warm skin making the blond shudder and gasp out of surprise, breaking the kiss briefly but staying close enough to Joe's face that their foreheads were touching. 

“I thought you said you wanted to take this slow,” Ben questioned barely louder than a whisper against Joe’s lips.

“I did,” Joe nodded, “but I can’t help it if you’re so damn irresistible,” he didn’t wait for a comeback or a reply, he leaned back in and kissed Ben with everything he had. 

The blond wrapped his arms tighter around Joe’s neck, gasping into the kiss and letting Joe deepen the kiss further. Eventually, Ben stood from the seat, being pulled closer by the redhead and letting out a high whine as Joes hands trailed down to his backside, just resting there for the time being. 

“How about we move this to the bedroom?” Joe broke away from the kiss, moving his lips to the side of Bens neck, laying a few kisses there and loving the way he felt the quiet moan run up through his throat as he nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure and utter smut... finally

Ben fell back into the large bed, letting out an appreciative moan at how soft the mattress was. Total contrast to the concrete he seems to be sleeping on. 

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” Joe chuckled, crawling onto the bed between Ben’s thighs. He began working on his own belt, pulling it from the loops and letting it fall to the floor as wandering hands came to rest on the bottom of Ben’s hoodie. 

“I might actually be in love with your bed,” Ben teased, opening his eyes to look up at Joe, hands coming back to his biceps, giving them a gentle squeeze as they worked his hoodie up, pulling away to let the garment come off, quickly followed by his t-shirt underneath. He heard Joe suck in a breath, and he glanced up to see Joe’s eyes eating up his torso. Ben blushed, becoming bashful of the way he looked, but as he tried to sit up, Joe pushed him back down with strong hands on his shoulders. Ben’s hands automatically wrapped around the American’s wrists and he gasped at how strong Joe actually was.

“Fuck Ben,” Joe whispered, eyes visibly darkening as he dragged them up to Ben’s face, “you’re built like a god or something”.

He felt himself blushing harder and Ben chewed on his bottom lip, “shut up and kiss me,” he whispered eventually, just needing Joe. The redhead chuckled, leaning in to kiss him. It still felt weird how natural it felt to be with Joe, and it scared Ben a bit. He clung onto the hope that he wouldn’t be left behind in whatever world Joe was running in.

Moving his hands down to Ben’s waist, Joe brushed his tongue across Ben’s chapped lips. He felt the younger man grab him by the back of the neck and couldn’t help the low chuckle at how eager he’d become and the kiss deepend. But eventually he pulled back, leaving the kiss on Bens lips as he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugging it off quickly, not bothering with any bashfulness before he leant in to kiss Ben again. 

The blond had other ideas, and as soon as Joe was kissing him, he wrapped his legs around slim hips, pushing off the mattress to roll them across the large bed until Ben was the one on top, sitting back on Joe's thighs as he broke the kiss, hands and eyes instantly coming to the button and fly on Joe's jeans, making quick work of them. He grinned at Joe at the obvious bulge in the man’s underwear, and he shuffled around until he was able to pull the denim down over Joe’s thighs before he suddenly got a bit nervous, hands hovering over the man's upper thighs, worrying the inside of his cheek. A gentle hand came up to cup his cheek and Ben glanced up, hazel eyes soft and understanding. He leant forward, the kiss less desperate and more reassuring before Ben moved his hands up higher and cupped Joes bulge, the older man gasping into the kiss. 

From then on, the kiss turned filthy. All gasps and teeth, Ben palmed Joe’s cock roughly over the material and loved the way Joe moaned under him. The way his hips stuttered upwards was all that Ben needed to feel before he hastily pulled down the garment, his hand finally touching Joe’s erection.

He rested his head against Joe’s collarbone, managing to look down and watch as his own fingers encircled Joes dick. The blond had to hold back his own whine as he slowly started to move his hand, feeling every inch of the man. God, was it possible to have an attractive penis? 

“Ben,” Joe whispered, making him glance up and see the way Joe was looking at him. He licked his lips as he leant in for a gentle kiss, starting to speed up his hands movements, loving the feeling of tiny gasps against his lips and taking them as encouragement, brushing his thumb over the tip and taking note of the full body shiver that drew out of Joe.

He left Joe’s lips to kiss against his jaw and down to his neck, humming as Joe extended his neck to let him have more room. Leaving open mouthed kisses to as much area as he could, he pulled back with a start as impatient hands began shoving and pulling at his trousers. “‘Lright, gimme a sec--” Ben let go of Joe’s cock, pulling back onto his knees as he pulled off his own trousers. 

Under him, Joe sat up, hands coming to rest on his lower back, only letting him push the fabric down onto his thighs before pulling him into a bruising kiss. Ben gasped at the feeling of his dick pressing against Joe’s stomach, and the American bit down on his lower lip, humming as he pressed Ben closer. He moved them both, Ben underneath him again as he managed to finally get himself undressed, the blond quickly following suit and it was as if time stopped. They openly stared at each other, Joe kneeling either side of Ben’s thighs, racking his eyes up and down and Ben did the same, hands on sturdy hips before their lips crashed together again.

“Fuck,” Ben panted, grabbing Joes ass and pulling him down against him, rubbing their hard cocks against each other. He gritted his teeth, Joe moving down to nip at his neck as they humped on the bed, strangled gasps and groans bouncing around the room. As Joes teeth graze over Ben’s neck, he feels the moan more than hear it by the way Ben shook underneath him. Chuckling teasingly, Joe did it again and got the same response before taking it to another level and leaving a light hickey at the base of Ben’s throat, the blond underneath him bucking desperately up against him.

Moving one hand from the mattress he was supporting himself on, Joe brought it between them, fingers brushing over the hot skin of Bens cock briefly before he took both of them into hand. Joe whined high in his throat, choking on the groan as he rested his head on Ben’s shoulder, both their bodies remaining still as they took it in.

“Joe…” Ben hummed, voice deep and vibrating around the room. He was sure that the man above him could hear his heartbeat, and he gasped as he felt Joe’s cock twitch against his own, back arching off the bed at how intimate it felt. 

“I know, I know,” Joe whispered, moving to kiss Ben again, something he was quickly addicted to, as he slowly moved his hand. They both moaned, breath mingling in the space between them. Fingers not able to do more than hold them together, it was a slow process of careful movements but that was enough for now, and both were whining and soon small thrusts from the two of them had sped up the pace.

“I think - fuck,” Ben’s face screwed up, his cheeks sweaty and red as Joe brushed his thumb over the tip of Ben’s cock, spreading the precum over them both and making it that little easier to move, “- I think ‘m getting close,” he eventually was able to pant out, holding onto Joe’s shoulder blades as they thrusted against each other.

“Think?” Joe questioned, forehead resting against Bens, “you're not sure?” Both heard the teasing tone in his question, and Ben giggled but turned into a gasp as Joe pressed even harder against him.

“Bit different than usual,” Ben nudged their noses together but gulped as the pace quickened. It wasn’t desperate but it was quick enough to be dizzying. “Oh yeah, okay, I’m close, really bloody close,” his back arched dramatically, chest pressing flush against Joes, and the older man couldn’t help pulling back to watch Ben’s face carefully.

He pressed them closer together, mouth hanging open and feeling them both twitch, precum drooling out of them quickly, and he glanced down to watch. Ben’s thrusts had turned desperate, and his head thrown back. He wasn’t able to say much, whines overlapping with moans and it was only Ben holding him tighter that gave Joe any warning as the blond came, back fully arching off the bed as he stuttered a moan, chest, neck and face all blotchy blushes and gorgeous eyes closed tightly. 

Joe pumped them harder, Bens jizz working as lube as he chased his own high, just managing a few grunts before he was cumming as well, making a mess over Ben’s hips and lower abdomen. He nearly collapsed onto him, arms shaking as he let go both of both their cocks, heaving in breaths that he didn't even realise he hadn’t been taking in, and he looked at Ben panting under him, watery eyes cracking open before the most fucked out smile graced his lips and Joe couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss him. 

Eventually though, his arms were shaking too much, and he had to roll away, bouncing on the mattress next to the Brit. Joe startled a moment when he felt something grab his hand, but as he looked down, it was just Ben lazily interlacing their fingers between them. Glancing over, Joe noticed that Ben was looking at him with an overly pleased look on his face that Joe undoubtedly mirrored before Ben's eyes drifted closed as his heartbeat came back to normal. Joe watched him a bit longer before looking up at the ceiling and was happy just to exist in this moment. 

But after awhile of just existing, it started to get cold, and Ben let out a few complaining huffs of how weird drying cum felt on the skin, so they both got up. Ben automatically wandered over to the connected bathroom, “stop staring at my arse,” he called over his shoulder, going half out of sight as he looked for a way to clean himself up.

“I’m not staring at your ass,” Joe called back, although he strained his neck to watch Ben in the bathroom, “I’m admiring it,” he mumbled more to himself, loving the little dents in the side showing Ben's muscles and strength. He really wasn’t joking when he’d said the blond looked like a god. Honestly, Joe was sure he’d seen a marble artwork that looked just like Ben in a museum somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, whatcha think? Let us know in the comments, or feel free to come and scream at us on our tumblrs linked below!


	11. Chapter 11

It’s a new night of pub quiz and now, added to the original team there’s Rami, Joe’s friend and Ben’s boss who also brought in Lucy with him. Three turned to five and they all clicked right away as if they’ve known each other forever. Lucy was even quicker on her feet than Rami, keeping up with the jokes and banter and she came in handy for some fashion related questions during the game. 

“If I’d known how good she was, I would’ve skipped the middleman,” Joe said after Lucy won them several consecutive points on the general knowledge section, his eyes on Rami, the middleman, who rolled his eyes at him as he took a drag from his drink. 

“I’m a very sore loser and hyper competitive, so--” Lucy shrugged in response, eyes focused on the host. She seemed to be taking the game a lot more seriously than they usually did, although they can get competitive. But they usually end up drunk by half of it and win rounds out of pure luck. 

They all seemed happy to be there, and after a few more rounds of drinks and a couple more questions, Joe didn’t see any harm in throwing his arm around the back of the booth, grazing Ben’s neck and fingers just brushing against Gwil’s shoulder. He saw out the corner of his eye as Ben smiled over at him, and smiled sweetly back as Lucy frantically scribbled another answer down on the sheet, hushing the University Lecturer trying to tell her the wrong answer. 

“Okay, she’s just made the team permanently, we have to have her every time we play,” Ben said determinedly to the rest of the table, Lucy was paying little to no attention to them as she chewed the lid of the pen. Joe nodded, taking a sip out of Ben’s beer without anyone noticing but them. They grinned in their private moment before being pulled back to the rest of the group.

“Wait, does that mean that I haven’t?” Rami asked, eyes darting through each member and getting a half arsed shrug from Joe.

“You have some proving to do yet, we’re very selective, sorry mate,” Gwilym chimed in to the teasing, even though he met Rami only an hour ago. They’d clicked quickly, and the awkward small talk only happened once when Ben and Joe grabbed everyone’s drinks and the sheets for tonight.

Rami huffed at them and did another eye roll but there was no tension or malice. No one was upset or really angry, it was all just friendly banter. It was all great fun and they watched Lucy slay a few questions in a category while Ben and Joe wrecked the sports section as they nudged each others ribs and giggled. Leading by several points ahead of the other teams for the first time since they’d started this weekly thing, they’d all become pretty happy with the completed team. Surprisingly, Rami’s time to shine came with the history section and him and Gwil made a great team. But at the celebrities section Ben tapped out. It’s mostly American celebrities and the Englishman is often lost with all the reality TV stars or teen actors he’s not up to date with so it was the perfect time for a smoke break. He signaled the rest of the group, shaking his pack of cigarettes before he made Joe slide off the booth to slide himself as he walked towards the door. 

Joe sat back for a moment, his eyes following Ben out the door but the moment the blond was out of sight, he fidgeted. He knew he was going to spend all night with Ben, assuming they were going back to his place after this now that the blond has been so Joe had given the night off to Tom and Allen, the men watching over Ben’s safety. The redhead wasn’t crazy about the idea of Ben being alone and so out in the open on the streets so he decided to step out with him himself. And okay, maybe he wanted to try and sneak in a little make out while he was at it. 

“I got nothing on this one either, gonna keep him company,” Joe announced before he slid off the booth again and made his way out the door as well. 

No one paid much attention to it, except for Lucy who followed him with her eyes and then went back to the table, making eye contact with his boyfriend and Gwilym. “So, those two huh?” 

Gwil frowned while Rami titled his head, looking at her girlfriend then at the closed door where the other two exited a moment ago. “What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Ben and Joe? No, I’ve been trying to set them up but nothing’s happened,” Gwilym responded overconfident and absolutely sure of himself. Rami still seemed a bit confused, looking between the two still at the table and deciding that maybe he doesn’t want to get involved in the staring competition and let himself sink a bit deeper into the booth.

“Really?” Lucy challenged with a quirked eyebrow, “You don’t see the way they look at each other? The little touches here and there? That’s too intimate for people who aren’t together yet,”

“I’m telling you, they’ve always been like that, since they first met. And yet neither of them made the first move. Look I bet you a drink of your choice that those two haven’t kissed yet,” As soon as Gwil said this, he turned to the door to make his point when the door swung open, showing them a glimpse of Ben and Joe making out by the door of the bar, the blond pushed back against the wall and the older man holding his face close with strong hands, thigh pressed between toned legs. He stared for a moment, the rest of the table did too, until the door swung closed again.“Ah shit...” 

When Gwil turned back to the table, Lucy had her palm up to him, “I’ll have a frozen margarita please, extra tequila shot and tell them to be generous on the sugar,” she demanded with a smug look on her face. 

Ben and Joe came back to the table to a happy Lucy drinking happily away a huge glass of margarita and as soon as they both slid back on the booth, all eyes were on them. They glanced at each other and then back at the silent table. 

“Are we still ahead?” Joe asked no one in particular and looked down at their pages, busying his hands with flipping through them. Surely they hadn’t already fallen behind? They were only out there for a few minutes.

“Yeah, we still are,” Lucy said chipply, still sipping her drink through the black straw as she did a little happy dance. 

“That’s a fancy drink,” Ben noted. Usually, they all drank cheap beer or some vodka based drink. 

“Yeah, I won a bet!” 

Lucy wiggled her eyes at him and before Ben could counter ask, Gwil interceded, bringing their attention towards him, “Must be hot outside, right?”

Ben frowned and glanced back at Joe for a moment before his eyes went back to Gwil, “It’s actually a little chilly, should’ve taken my jacket out with me,” 

“Really? I could’ve sworn it was warm outside,”

“Why?” 

“Oh, just cause you’re faces are all red and shit,” 

Ben was scrambling for an excuse with his mouth hanging open whilst Joe just stared at Gwil and what he was aiming at before Lucy huffed at the three of them. “Oh for god's sake, we saw you making out by the door, just admit it!” 

There was a moment of silence, everyone glancing at each other before Joe sighed heavily, leaning back in his seat.

“Okay, alright, fine,” Joe put his palms up in surrender. He looked at Ben before admitting to the table, “yeah, we’re together,” 

“Ha! My margarita tastes like victory!” Lucy cheered before taking another long happy sip.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your boyfriend you wanted me to check out for the play?” Rami asked Joe. 

“He wasn’t my boyfriend at the time,” said Joe.

“We’ve only been out on a few dates. Haven’t even used the word boyfriend yet, so thanks for that Rami,” Ben muttered, glancing over at Joe as the others watched them carefully.

Before it could get awkward, Gwil was charging at them too, “How come neither of you told me?! After I’ve been trying for months to get you two together,” 

“I’d hardly call what you did trying, Gwil,” Ben rolled his eyes at his friend and took a long swig of his beer, needing the drink at the moment. To be honest, it was getting a little stressful being put on the spot like this.

“I’ll take full credit for it, don’t care. I did this,” Gwil declared with his drink towards them before drinking it and the table fell silent for a moment while Ben and Joe shared a few glances and smiles between them.

“Would you look at that!” Lucy, who checked out of the conversation a while ago is now holding up their papers. “We won!”

\-----------------

The night ended without any further awkwardness and Ben and Joe were ultimately glad they were out in the open so now they could wrap their arms around each other and steal a few kisses here and there before the night was over. They were all a little tipsy but nothing major and they walked out of the bar together to say their final goodbyes. Everyone left their own way and the only ones left by the bar door were Ben and Joe that were stealing a few last kisses to seal a great night, Ben’s arms around Joe’s waist and Joe was grabbing him by the collar of his jacket. 

“Well that wasn’t a total disaster, after all, right boyfriend?” Joe chuckled after a few pecks on Ben’s lips.

Joe watched Ben beam at the word. “I wasn’t expecting to come out tonight but it could've been worse,” The blond agreed, leaning in for more kisses before saying, “Let’s go home, yeah?”

Joe quirked an eyebrow at the blind and gave him a little smirk, “Oh, are we already calling my place ‘home’?” He teased Ben, but didn’t actually hate how it sounded on his boyfriends lips. Maybe it was incredibly soon, but he already felt like Ben belonged with him and he was more than happy to let the blond call his place ‘home’. 

But Joe’s mind was assuming things and travelling quicker than reality because Ben chuckled before planting another kiss on his lips. “No,” He said, “I actually mean home, as in my place. I have rehearsals early in the morning, need the script, have to prepare a few things and I’m honestly knackered too,”

“Why don’t we go to my place and I’ll send someone to get your things?” Joe suggested uneasily as a big ‘shit’ was being screamed in his mind. He had no men with Ben tonight, assuming they were coming back to his like the last few times they went out. He couldn’t let go back to his place on his own, no way. The guys deserved some time off, and the Mafia boy had thought he and the blond weren’t going to be separated tonight at all.

“Come on, Joe,” Ben snickered, incredulous. “Wait, you’re serious?” 

“Yeah, let’s go back to mine.” Joe tried to plead but could notice Ben was starting to get annoyed so he swallowed hard and watched the blond take a step back from him, confusion all over his face. 

“I thought you didn’t have a problem with my place?”

“I-- I don’t!” 

“So?”

“Can we just go to mine for tonight, please?”

The look on Ben’s face surprised Joe. The Brit looked hurt and disappointed and was watching him with disbelief in his eyes, stepping a little further away and Joe understood him perfectly, of course. He must be wondering what the fuck is wrong with him right now and he can’t tell him. How can he tell him he has people watching over him? That he has enemies who’ve been following Ben’s every move? That by being with him, he put his life in danger? No, he can’t tell him that, not now, not like this. Instead, he’ll have to settle with Ben thinking he’s just a rich prick. Which is clearly what Ben’s feeling right now. 

“You know what, I’m gonna go home. You do whatever you want,” Ben’s sharp tone cut through him like broken glass and Joe had to swallow hard but he made a last attempt at making him stay. But a wrong one. 

“Ben,” Joe said through gritted teeth as Ben was stepping away from him and grabbed him by the wrist. His grip, stronger than it should’ve been. Ben looked down at Joe’s hand with more confusion piling upon his face, then back at Joe and the redhead let go immediately. 

“Goodnight Joe,” Ben sentenced the end of the conversation right there as he turned on his heels and Joe watched him walk away, lighting a cigarette a few steps away and disappearing into the night and onto the streets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scream at us. It makes us feel validated.


	12. Chapter 12

Joe paced around the block once before following Ben. He didn’t want to be seen, but he couldn’t let him out of his sight. But god, when Ben was in a mood, he could really shift. Speed walking after him, Joe quickly did a check over of his concealed weapon. Yep, they should do it if anything happened.

He couldn’t leave the blond right now, couldn’t risk what someone might do, especially as recently they’d been more open about their feelings. After the night they spent together at Joe’s, they’d both grown more affectionate, and in the couple of days it had been, he even had to admit he’d gotten more possessive. It was a problem, but when you have a family like the Mazzellos, you constantly had to check over your shoulder, and everything seemed to run quicker in their world. 

He turned onto Bens street a few beats after his boyfriend, hands deep in his pockets and collar popped up. If he turned around now, Ben would be able to pick out Joe in a second, but the steam coming from his ears kept the Brit marching onward, unaware of how much danger he could potentially be in right now.

Alright, yeah, Joe could’ve handled it better, but he’d had a lapse in judgment, the alcohol and Ben being right there in front of him had clouded his brain for a moment. He needed to sort himself out. But he didn’t have time to wallow right now. Ben was going through his front door, slamming it hard behind him and Joe stopped for a moment. Both flats were empty, he had keys to either, but Allen’s was more surveillance, more gadgety and Joe didn’t know if he could understand what all the flashing lights and beeping monitors stood for, even though he’d tried to listen to the explanation. And anyway, tonight, Joe knew the familiar weight of a gun in his hands would clear his mind.

Crossing the street, Joe hissed to himself about turning his back on his target. What would happen if someone used this moment to rush Ben? Take him down and hold him ransom, or worse, full on kill him. Joe hurried his footsteps, bounding up the stairs of Hollander’s complex three at a time, fumbling the key into the lock and shoulder barging the door open the moment the lock clicked open. Getting to the main lookout window, Joe held his breath tensley for a few seconds until the light clicked on in the flat opposite, the figure of Ben coming in and huffing around the hallway of an apartment. 

They’d been at Joe's most nights recently. Shit, Ben even had his own draw dedicated to his clothes already. It made it easier that way. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for Joe to wrap his mind around why Ben wanted to go back here? Didn’t he hate the place? Joe wasn’t lying about sending someone to grab his stuff. But maybe the redhead had pushed too much. He should’ve just agreed with Ben, shouldn’t have been so big headed about it and just happy to spend more time with his boyfriend. He’d given the boys the night off simply because he knew he and Ben were going to be together. No point in them being on shift when Joe could easily handle anyone. 

For a while, Joe just watched. Ben went around the motions of making himself a cheap coffee in his favourite cracked mug, trying to sip at it when it's way too hot but he’s distracted, script held in his hands as he mumbles it to himself. Joe didn’t get to see this side of Ben, actor Ben, instead he got to see laid back and goofy Ben.

The night before last, they’d gone out for food again. A dumpling place Ben had been fancying, and it wasn’t overly expensive either, so they sat at the table near the back and joked about their days. He’d gone for a soup dumpling, shoving it into his mouth and instantly huffing and letting out little yelps at the hot liquid burnt his tongue. Joe had laughed, clutching his side as he wiggled in the seat as Ben had tried to fan his mouth after eating something which was way too hot way too quickly. God, Joe loved his idiotic boyfriend.

He’d come to that conclusion awhile back. 

Just hadn’t said it outloud yet. 

They’d only been out a few times now, no need to scare Ben off yet. But Joe’s known for a while. He was the guy who’d fall hard in love quickly. Something which he really shouldn’t do, seeming as who his family were, but he couldn’t help it. His mom said his dad told her he was going to marry her after a week of dating, so maybe it was actually a family thing. Didn’t mean it had to be a weakness though. He’d been taught how to handle weapons as soon as he got into highschool. It was around that time his family were becoming bigger and more successful, a bit of a pain in the ass for the other families of New York. But Joe knew holding a gun didn’t make him strong, falling in love shouldn’t make him weak either. 

Now, Joe knew his way around a gun, could throw a blade with a good amount of accuracy, and could break a bone with one calculated twist, but that didn’t mean he liked the fact he could do that. And as Ben ducked into the bathroom, closing the door and blocking Joe’s eyeline, the Mafia boy reached over for the back of goodies Hollander always had here. 

Setting up a sniper and viewfinder was easy enough, Joe could do it in his sleep as he did a few checks over. The streets were clear - doing this most his life, Joe could tell the difference between a person of interest and the general public - and he gave himself a moment to relax. He pulled out his phone, ignoring most notifications to swipe across on Ben’s name.

“I’m sorry,” he texted out with one hand, the other resting on the window sill, “I was a dick :( should’ve just gone home with you”. He sent it before he could think much about it, leaving his phone on the side as he went to grab some supplies for the night. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight, so got some snacks and drinks for the watch. No one would be able to get by his boy tonight. 

He came back, his phone letting out a single ping and Joe eagerly picked it up. A message for Ben. “ :( “. He contemplated sending something back, his thumb tapping against the side of the device and he glanced over the street. He didn’t have any lights on in here, no way of anyone really looking in unless they knew he was there. Ben was sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at his phone, and Joe noted the three dots appearing on his screen, disappearing, coming back up, disappearing again, before they popped back up and he got a ping. “Goodnight Joe. Talk tomorrow”

He saw the blond throw his phone on the countertop of his small kitchen before getting up and pulling closed his curtains, a slight gap in one, and through his viewfinder, Joe could see Ben laying down on his bed and pulling out a book or something to read. Ten more minutes, and the lights were out. 

\-----------------------

Morning came, and Ben hadn’t lied about having rehearsals early. 7 o’clock Joe noted him leaving his flat, and bleary-eyed from lack of sleep, Joe waited a few beats before doing the same, packing up Hollanders stuff first. They’d be back on shift soon, probably already on their way, but Joe wanted to make sure that Ben would get to the theatre alright. He let himself blend into the crowd, no one even glancing at the tired-looking man as he moved around the people with practised ease. Stopping at their usual place to eat, Ben grabbed an Everything Bagel and almond latte (something Joe had got him addicted too), eating and drinking on the go with script tucked under his arm. He couldn’t help the soft smile as the Brit bumped into a few people, apologising around a mouthful of crumbs as he went through the stage door into the theatre, Lucy holding it open as she arrived in a similar state of tiredness. They had just over a week until opening night, and Rami was ramping up the rehearsals big time. 

Joe hangs around outside a bit. They’d scoped this place before, knew all the exits and entrances, and for the first half an hour, he paced around the best he could. Eventually, though, he had to admit he was no use to Ben when he was this tired. He was a liability, and just as he was preparing to leave, he saw a familiar car turn up, Leech popping out after parking opposite the side entrance.

“Morning, boss,” the Irish twang seemed a bit confused at the state of the usually put together Joe Mazzello. His hair was sticking up all over the place, skin pale and clammy making the heavy bags under his eyes look even darker. His clothes were rumpled with constant use and he seemed a second too sluggish.

Joe frowned, watching as Allen looked him up and down as he leant against the door of his car, a little line appearing above his nose. “We had a fight,” he stated, voice level and monotone, a no nuisance edge to it that stopped Allen asking too much. “Keep an extra eye on him today, report any movement and don’t let him out of your sight”. 

Allen was nodding before Joe had even finished his sentence, standing straighter and scanning surroundings. Things he would’ve done anyway, but he knew that Joe meant it. Nobody could go near Ben without Joe knowing it.

There was no time for a further catchup as Joe stalked out of the side alley, turning to go to his place and crash for however long it took him to be able to not fantasise about a proper strong cup of coffee and sugary donut. 

\------------------------------------------

When Joe woke up that evening after being up all night, it was almost dark outside. He noticed he slept almost all day but he still felt tired and like shit. But the thought of having spaced out for most of the day without any updates on Ben jolted him into fully awakeness quickly as he palmed for his phone nearby. As soon as he found it, he squinted at the brightness and saw a few notifications but his eyes darted to the ones he cared the most about right. The update was that there was no update. Allen and Hollander both reported that Ben’s day went by normal and he was already back at his place. 

Joe was more than relieved but there was also a pang of hurt on his chest seeing no text from Ben came in while he was asleep. He’s learning today that his boyfriend is maybe as hot headed as he is and he can hold a grudge. He opens their conversation and ponders over it for a while before deciding that it’s obvious that a simple text won’t do, no matter how many sorries he can type in so he decides to be more proactive and do something else, something better. And it’s so that, only an hour or so later, it finds Joe at Ben’s doorstep, an overnight bag in hand. 

When Ben opened the door of his apartment and found Joe on the other side, Joe noticed that they were both in the same state of tiredness. Before Ben can say even ‘hi’ Joe starts quickly apologizing, not even letting the blond talk as the words tumbled from his mouth. 

“Look Ben, I know I was a dick last night and I’m sorry. I swear I don’t even know what I was thinking.” He said, afraid that Ben would shut the door in his face. He was even still holding the door slightly opened as if he was ready to do exactly that and wasn’t even looking up at Joe, chewing at his bottom lip and eyes focused down, flicking from side to side as he thought about the situation. But at least he was listening so Joe kept talking. “I’m not the best at last-minute change of plans” Joe paused and chuckled a little, “No, that’s an understatement, I’m actually the worst at last-minute changes. But I’m here and I’m sorry and I swear I don’t have any problem coming here or going anywhere as long as you’re there.” 

Joe held his hand up to show him the overnight bag, hoping Ben would look up and he followed him with his eyes. Ben did look up and he could see the beginning of a smile forming on the corner of Ben’s lips and it already had Joe smiling himself. 

“Can I come in and keep apologizing inside? Maybe sitting down?”

Ben went back to chewing at his bottom lip but Joe could see that he was trying hard not to smile. “I don’t know if you earned sitting down privileges yet,” 

“That’s fair,” Joe nodded, the smile not fading from his lips, “I can work standing up too,” 

And that did it. It fully cracked Ben’s smile into a full one and he finally looked up, stepping away and inside the apartment to let Joe in. The door closed behind the couple, understanding now that although they may have their differences, they have to work them out to stay together.


	13. Chapter 13

Somebody had gotten him. Joe doesn’t know how, knows not to look a gifted horse in the mouth, but he gets a call from his dad. He was getting a gift tonight. And god, did Joe need it. Pent up energy from the last few days had him on edge, fidgeting more than usual, so it’d be good to have an outlet. He rushed through classes, cancelling a meeting with Gwil to instead get home as soon as he could.

His coat flapped dramatically behind him, rushing in the wind as the redhead moved with extra heed to get back. He rocked on his feet as he waited for the lift, managing to school himself as he got a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He shouldn’t be like this, not let his emotions take control. That’s why his sister will be a good boss when it’s time. Always cool and collected, Mary had been trained from such a young age to take the reins, having been their dad's right hand woman since graduating law school. She was ready, and Joe was thankful.

But as the doors pinged opened to his place, he couldn’t help but smile, excitement coming back and coursing through his veins. He’d been told there’d been a drop off here for him a few minutes before he arrived, and he waved off the couple goons standing by his door. He had this now, thanks, didn’t need babysitters for the dick they’d been hunting for a good while. 

Swinging open the door, Joe glanced over the room.Tied to an old chair by some hard rope was the photographer, dirty gag keeping him quiet. The moment their eyes locked together, the man tied down started struggling, as if he actually had a chance of getting out of there.

“Hi there,” Joe closed the door, taking a moment to take off his coat and hang up his bag, “oh, there’s no reason to stand, don’t worry,” he gave him a sarcastic smile. “Want anything to drink? No? Oh, hope you don’t mind if I just get a glass of water,” starting towards the kitchen, Joe could hear the man begging behind the fabric, watching with wide eyes as Joe whistled his way through grabbing a clean glass, filling with ice and cool water. He took a long sip, letting out a satisfied sigh as he popped his lips together. “Gotta stay hydrated, you know? Think I’m going to build up quite a sweat,” he winked, leaning over the kitchen island. He watched as a bead of sweat rolled down the man’s temple, dropping onto his shoulder.

The chair was in between the living area and kitchen, and the drop off guys had done a lovely job of covering the furniture with sheets to protect them, another on the floor under the chair, and it crinkled under Joes feet as he slowly wandered around in a large circle. Plastic coated, perfect. He could get as messy as he liked. He took another, longer sip before dropping into a squat before the man. His legs were bound to the legs, but that didn’t stay the balding guy from trying to kick him.

Joe tutted, reaching forward to pat his knee, “now now, that’s not how we treat friends, is it?” He knew where this guy had come from, recognised the tattoo on his middle finger. “You know, my old man knows the Brunos pretty well,” he tapped on the ink before standing to his full height, “he must be really disappointed that they were making a move on us. You wanna talk?” Slowly, Joe brought one hand to the side of the man’s face, fingers coming under the fabric of the gag. The guy felt slimy, like how you’d imagine a toad to feel. Actually, a toad was a good comparison. Bug eyed, sweaty and a bit more on the heavier side, Joe let out a short chuckle as he thought of the similarities. “I might let you go if you tell me what we need to know, yeah?” That was a lie. They had Toad in their grasp, why the fuck would they let him go? Needed to set an example.

It had been a long time since the Mazzellos had made a point in this town. 

Toad glared at him, speaking into the fabric as if they’d be able to understand. Joe rolled his eyes, moving away from the man and finishing his drink. “You know,” he started, back turned to the man as he looked at the glass of melting ice in his hand, “you made my life a fucking nightmare,” he shrugged, laughing again, “who would’ve thought it, huh? A low life like you stuck in my side like a thorn. But,” Joe shrugged, placing the glass down on the kitchen island, “we managed to get you out, and now,” walking behind him, Joe leant close to the Toads ear, smelling the salt off his skin, “I’m going to make yours hell,” he stage whispered. 

“We both know your not bugged, so you don’t have to be shy anymore,” Joe stood back up, starting the slow walk around again, letting the noise of the sheet fill the air, “because whatever the Brunos would do to you for talking is nothing compared to what I’m planning on doing as a warm up,” he smiled, all teeth and no humour, seeing the guy riffle through hard determination of keeping quiet, mad panic on what Joe would do and finally settling on fear of the unknown. Looked like he might have a talker on his hands.

Joe wasn’t an overly cruel man, preferring to find more civils way of doing things, but he had no doubt that all the other big guns in America knew about Ben. So, an example had to be made. Having sat through enough of these, even doing a couple himself before this, he knew the drill. Get them to rat out on the bosses, make them think they have hope, or even an upper hand in the situation, and then have your fun with them until not even their own mothers could recognise their corpses. He wouldn’t do the killing, no no, they had a team to do that, but he’d make sure he’d be a beautiful mix of purple, blue and blood. Maybe a few teeth knocked out, nose flattened, that kind of thing. 

He used the image of this man stalking Ben as inspiration for what he was going to do. They’d nearly damaged what wasn’t there’s and maybe that was the plan, but Joe was going to find out why. Maybe they’d had a larger plan for this, maybe they were going to do something to Ben to get to Joe, and that made his blood boil. 

Reaching down to wrap his fingers slowly around the forearms of Toad, Joe leant all his weight onto it, slowly moving so his face was level. He licked his lips, seeing unshed tears building in the big, liver-failure yellowed eyes. “I really think you should talk, don’t you?” He tightened his hold, turning his head slightly, smiling again as he watched the frantic nodding in front of him, “that’s it, I knew you’d come around”.

Standing back up again, he watched as the flesh on the arms of the man below him flush back to their normal colour, the previous white from his tight grip a short memory. He doesn’t waste time as he reaches up and tugs the gag out of Toads mouth.

The guy gasps around a sob, coughing on the sudden emptiness of his mouth, stretching his jaw as he pulls slightly on the ropes holding him down. Nice work by the guys, Joe thought, seeing the ropes winding up his forearms and keeping him secure to the thin arms of the wooden chair, same on his calphs and keeping him tight down. The rope across his torso was a little less artistic, but the way it creased the sweat stained dress shirt showed that it was a touch too tight, reducing movement more. But the one around the neck, a single wrap around before coming down to ties on the back, now that was a good touch. Serving little use other than to up the tension, Joe gave an appreciative nod. 

“Oh fuck…” Joe glanced back up as Toad croaked, smirking at him before stepping away. “Look, man, it was just a job, I swear”.

Joe nodded, bringing one hand to cup his own jaw as he switched to a pout, “oh, I’m sure it was. So sorry you got caught up in all of this”. He watched as a shaky breath came from Toad before half stepping forward so the heel of his foot was on the toes of Toads. “I just think you should tell me everything, and then I’d let you hop right out of here, okay?” He kept his foot still, not pressing down, but knew the guy felt it by the way his leg tensed.

“Come on, man, I really-” Toad began to beg, giving a measly attempt to pull his foot away, but Joe pressed down suddenly and the man yelled out.

“I’m not your ‘man’, nowhere near it,” Joe’s voice dropped to a growl and he kept pushing downward. “You know my name, you’ll use it, alright?” It was only when he nodded that Joe pulled back his heel. “An added bonus of this place is it’s totally private,” Joe grinned, starting to slowly walk around again, “and sound proof, so it’s not like anyone will hear you”. 

Toad let out another shuddering breath, wet with tears he was trying to hold back. He really was a runner for them, probably dragged in to repay a debt, got the ink so he couldn’t escape, but was totally disposable. Not much good information in him, Joe grumbled in his mind, but there should be something. Maybe find out what they know on Ben. 

“Mr. M-Mazzello,” the guy whispered, and Joe let out an approving humm, “really, I was just told to follow you around, sir, don’t know why, they told me jack-shit”

“I like the way you say Sir,” Joe said as if an afterthought, and the guy whispered it again. “So,” he let the word sit for a moment, “how long you been following, eh? Anyone else with you?”

“A few months, sir,” the guy whispered in one breath, “just me. They wanted intel. When I got those photos of you with that guy, they changed the job to intel on him, sir, I’m sorry-”

Joe suddenly lunged, grabbing the back of the chair and pushing it down until it nearly tumbled backwards. The guy shouted out again, eyes closed and finally the tears fell. “You bastard,” Joe hissed through gritted teeth, “doing the fucking dogs work for anyone who throw money at you,” he accused, and he got a whimper and short nod in response, Toads body tense and shaking slightly, cowering in the seat. Joe could’ve easily dropped his the few feet more, but not now, not when he was getting somewhere. “You dragged him into this, you know?”, bringing his other hand up to the pretty rope around the guys neck, Joe wrapped a few fingers underneath it and held it, but could feel the frantic heartbeat, “you could’ve just burnt those fucking photos and pretended you saw nothing”. 

“They were paying me! T-they said they’d make me r-rich!” Keeping his eyes closed, Toad began to beg, words tumbling out of his mouth as quickly as he got the air in. Joe just nodded, learning more in a few heartbeats as the guy just kept rambling on and on. Eventually though, Joe pulled him back up, still holding the rope around his neck as he got the chair back settled. 

“I see,” he pulled away for a moment, uncuffing his shirt sleeves and rolling them up over his elbows. He reached for the glass, drinking the melted water before chewing on the few pieces of ice left. He watched for a moment as the guy sobbed, finally shutting up and just crying. Under half an hour, and the guy was broken. Joe sighed, stepping forward again.

Toad looked up at him, face blotchy and red, wet from the tears that seemed not to be stopping. His breaths rattled, showing his dehydration and Joe crunched the ice harder between his teeth. For a moment, they both just stared. A heartbeat of hope on Toads face. But Joe quickly wiped that off of him, punching him hard in the face. 

Blood splattered everywhere, nose broken in one hit, and Joe reached forward to steady the chair again, the man crying in pain, blood dribbling into his open mouth and making the sound even wetter. Joe leant forward, “your a low life nobody, and no ones gonna miss you, you piece of shit”. Another punch, this time to the side of his face, and suddenly Joe couldn’t stop.

Wherever his fists could reach, he punched. Over and over, the sound of flesh becoming wet and sloppy as more bones were broken, a few in Joe’s fist as he just kept going at him. If this fucker had never gotten involved, had not stuck his nose in Joe’s business, Ben wouldn’t be in danger, daily. He’d had never had to build up a team to protect the blond. Wouldn’t have to monitor everything, back check everyone and, fuck, would’ve been able to be just a normal couple.

Joe pulled back, heaving in breaths. It was only then he realised Toad was unconscious, face swelling in bruises and jaw slack. He’d probably broken that at some point. Bringing a shaky hand up, he pushed his hair back, noting his own had covered in blood, a mix of the man's below and his own, knuckles bust open and painful. He hissed as he looked down at them, but something in his mind was telling him to keep going. This man put Ben in danger. His Ben. 

He reached forward, hands slipping on the slippy cheap fabric of the guys shirt as he pulled his hand up for another punch. He hesitated for a moment, a moment too long, and suddenly his world was jolted. 

“Joe?” A shaky voice behind him got him to turn. Half hidden behind the door was Ben, eyes wide and looking at the bloody man.

“Oh shit”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay! Both were busy and it just slipped our minds!
> 
> Let us know what you think


	14. Chapter 14

He tried to look away, but for some reason, Ben’s eyes locked onto the unconscious man tied to a chair in his boyfriends flat. Ben’s mouth hung open in disbelief and he felt tears welling up and blurring his vision, sick down to his stomach and shaking, but he still couldn’t look elsewhere.

Joe rushed over, the protective plastic loud underfoot. He grabbed Ben by the shoulders and rushed them out of the flat and into the little entrance way. Holding him steady, Joe could see the far away look in green eyes - he was in shock.

“Ben, are you okay?” Bringing one hand up to cup the blonds jaw, Joes eyes frantically scanned over the blank expression on the paling skin. The son of one of the biggest mafia bosses started to panic, not getting a response from his boyfriend as he tried to step in his line of vision. The expression never changed, instead looking straight through Joe.

He knew it must’ve looked bad, knew that it did look bad, and that Ben should have never had to see what happened. But he had, and now Joe was having to pay the price.

“Baby, listen,” Joe's voice was steady and calm, although his tender heart inside was hammering against his chest, “I know this looks insane but if you could just let me explain what’s happening here...” Ben’s eyes were starting to focus, and Joe let out a small smile, “Please?” he knew he was going to have to lie to Ben. It wasn’t an easy thing to do but he had to if he wanted to keep him and keep him safe. 

There was something about the blond that Joe just couldn’t get over. He was stunningly handsome, incredibly talented and such a genuine guy. Yet he ended up with a guy like Joe. The Brit had unknowingly walked into a dangerous future, and even if things didn’t work out between them, this shadow will always be a part of Ben’s life now. Joe should’ve fought his heart harder, had been for years now, but Ben had been persistent, and it was easy to fall for an angel when you're used to dancing with devils.

Something about him talking was bringing Ben back to the present, but Joe didn’t know how much more he could say. A couple of sentences and finished with a lie, and Joe couldn’t say much more. He couldn’t really say “oh hey, my family is the mafia and these guys have been stalking you. We’re gonna throw him in the river and probably start a gang war because of this”, not if he wanted Ben to stay with him anyway. And that was the whole point of doing this - to keep Ben safe. 

In the couple of months they’d been together, Joe had become a changed man. He saw more colour in the grey walls of New York, heard music in the chatting crowds, was filled with love at the daily taste of his coffee. It was the blond which did this to him. His mom had mentioned it at one of their catchup dinners. Had said how “you seem so much happier in life, Joe, when’re we going to meet this young man of yours?”. He’d smiled and said soon, although wasn’t planning on introducing them for along time. How could he bring the sunshine to the dark underbelly of the world he loved so much? 

“You…” Bens voice was croaky, and Joe tightened his hold on his arms, “you were hitting him”. Green eyes finally looked clearly into hazel, full of hurt and confusion, and a little dot of hope. Hope that he’d gotten it all wrong. Seen something that wasn’t actually happening. That Joe wasn’t this man to be feared. “You hit him?” He spoke again.

“I did,” Joe nodded, dropping eye contact when he saw that spark of hope fade into fear. He felt the muscles under his hands tighten, and was surprised he wasn’t being pushed away.

“Why?”

“Because… because he was going to hurt you, Ben”.

The silence was thick between them, wrapping around both their necks and choking any words of reassurance that may have been uttered. 

“Me? Why? I haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t even know who that man is,” 

As Ben started to talk, he heard the private elevator door open and some men all dressed in black walk past them and into Joe’s apartment like it was something completely normal and Ben couldn’t tear his eyes off of them but Joe kept looking at him as if nothing was happening. 

“But they know who you are-- because of me. So I wanted-- I was trying to protect you, Ben.”

“Protect me? What do you mean?” He can clearly hear something going on inside Joe’s house and he can’t even keep his eyes focused on him, but it doesn’t seem to affect Joe which infuriates him. “Who are those people, what the fuck is going on?”

Joe took a deep breath looking at Ben and didn't break his composure for a moment. It was a little terrifying. 

“They’re our employers. My family’s. Look, my family is a big name here in New York because of their business, and sometimes they have competitors who meddle in our personal lives to try and bring them down,” Joe tried to explain as calmly and rationally as he could, give Ben a bedtime story version of what was really going on. “And they found out we were dating and they thought they could get some dirt on us by following you-- so I took care of it,”

“Took care of it?! Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now? Why didn’t you call the police?” Ben’s heart was hammering inside his chest and in his ears, a mixture of confusion and fear settling inside him that wasn’t letting him calm down. He really didn’t want to. 

“It doesn’t work that way with these people Ben.”

“Wow. I-- you know what, I need to leave,” 

“Ben, why don’t you let me drive you home, you’re clearly in shock right now,” Joe tried to stop Ben from moving, putting a hand back on him but the blond snapped it right out.

“Don’t touch me!” The look on Ben’s face was of disgust and he focused on Joe’s hands especially, “I-I don’t even know if that’s your blood or his,” 

Joe gapes, eyes darting to where Ben was looking. For the first time that night, the blood came into focus. Droplets splattered up most the way up his arms, which led to the large gathering on his hands. Knuckles split, now in silence, Joe could hear blood falling from his loose arms, a constant damning ‘drip drip drip’ linking him to the mess inside. It didn’t seem to stop. Although used to that sound from years of family experience, this time it chilled Joe to the core. This was him, his blood making this noise, that man’s blood making this mess, both their bloods scaring Ben. He scared the most important thing in the world.

“Just let me-” Joe half gestures into his flat, suggesting either changing, showering or even hiding right now, “give me some time, Ben”.

“As if I’m going to stand around here and wait for you!” Ben scoffed, eyes becoming hard as steel. Nothing Joe had said tonight made sense, not at all, but somewhere, deep in Bens subconscious, he knew that Joe was no danger to him. “I’m going home, Joe,” the blond looked his boyfriend up and down before turning and leaving, not even looking over as he got in the lift to leave.

Joe ran dirty hands through his hair, letting out a groan. This had not gone the way he’d wanted at all. Ben should never had seen that scene, but there was no one to blame but Joe for the mess. He’d given Ben a key a week prior, wanted him to know Joe trusted him and he was more than welcome at any time. But he wouldn’t have had to use the key if Joe had just texted him an excuse - maybe suddenly there was a family emergency that he had to sort out, or that he had too much work for University to do. If he’d just kept Ben in the loop a little better, had led him down the right paths, the two biggest parts of his life may have never had to meet.  
____________

Eventually, the mafia son retreats indoors.The goons had dealt with most of the mess, were now just cleaning up the last few bits and rearranging the furniture to its rightful places. He gestured for them to take the unconscious man outside - Toad would be transported to one of their holding areas to be dealt with later. Joe would wipe his hands of him and leave the rest to the guys they pay. 

Fishing his phone out of his coat pocket, Joe saw that he actually had multiple missed calls from both Ben and Gwil, the most recent coming from his profesor, who’d left a three minute long voice mail, probably shouting and ranting about scaring them. Maybe Ben had already told him what had gone on. That’s something else he needed to sort out. 

How was he going to explain this to Ben?

He knew he had to go over there at some point, had to sort it out. Even if Ben wanted to scream and shout at him, breakup with him and curse him to the ground, Joe needed to clear the water between them. It’d be a hard fucking job to do though.

Forehead against the wall, leaning against it heavily, Joe pulled up his group messages. Allen and Hollander needed to know what was going on.

‘Fucked up  
Photographer dealt with  
Ben mad  
DON’T let him out of your sight  
Or else’

Joe waited a few moments and got two thumbs up emojis back. He sighed again, bringing a hand up to rub against the day old stubble left on his cheeks. He should probably tell his family. Ben could kick up trouble now that he’s seen this. But Joe needs to think about it, needs to figure out how to bring it up with his parents that he’d done of the big no-no’s of the mafia code and let a civilian witness their business. He’d tell them later tonight.

Now that he was aware he was filthy, Joe could feel the blood drying on his skin. Could feel the uncomfortable stretch it did over his knuckles and he grimacanced. He looked down at his hands and huffed at himself. It was under his nails. Would be a shit to get out.

Knowing the goons would be out in a couple minutes, Joe didn’t pay them any attention anymore, instead walking down his hallways and into his bedroom. He threw his phone on the bed, eyes catching at the newest addition to his night stand. A picture of Ben, smiling bright and proud after opening night of his first New York play. It was a great photo of the blond, really showed his passion, and Joe smiled slightly at the sight. 

He took of his clothes quickly, putting them in the wash as he warmed up the bathroom, shower water causing the glass and mirrors to steam up. He sighed as he got under the stream, head dropping forward as it washed over him. The water turned pink at his feet, swirling around the drain mockingly before whispering away, the clearer water chasing it down. If only this whole mess up was that easy to sort out. 

Joe went through the motions of cleaning his hair and body, scrubbing extra hard at his arms and chest. His mind was wondering to the darkest areas, and there wasn’t really much Joe could do to stop it.

Should he end things with Ben? Should he go over, explain himself and breakup with his love? It’d save him, save the blond from getting any deeper, but not from danger. Everyone knew about Ben now - knew he and Joe had a good relationship, knew that Joe would do anything for the blond, knew that he was his weak spot. Of course, Joe would have to put up protection for Ben whatever the outcome of their talk is, but he seriously had to think this all through.

He leant his head against the glass wall and let a few tears pass.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess whose back, back again, we are back, tell your friends
> 
> So... we took an unplanned hiatus! Didn't intend too, but hey ho, we're only two people and sometimes our inspiration just lacks for a bit! But! Here's another chapter! 
> 
> Recap - Ben walked in on Joe beating up a bad guy who's been stalking them, and yeah, wasn't overly impressed with what he'd seen

Ben can’t take his eyes away from his own reflection in the mirror in front of him. Hands stretched on the porcelain sink, holding him straight, he breathed heavy a couple of times, fixated on the bloodstain on his cheek and hand. His top was in the sink, water running over it and running that sickly pink that blood does and he honestly would rather burn the garment rather than wash it. He’d burn his skin where Joe’s bloodied hands touched him if he could too. After a few minutes, not sure how many really, could be 5, could be 30, he started to scrub his hands furiously, a rough hand coming up to his cheek too. 

He felt it wasn’t enough, even if the stains were no longer there, he felt filthy so he stripped and got into the shower, scrubbing his whole skin raw for a while until he runs out of hot water and jumped out, going to sit on his bed in a towel, elbows resting on his knees, face buried deep in his hands. 

What the fuck just happened?

He was still trying to wrap his head around it. It couldn’t have been real. Is it possible that he’s too tired, he imagined all that? That he’ll go to sleep now when it’s still early and he’ll wake up tomorrow finding he has hallucinated all this? God, wouldn’t that be amazing? But-- the stains on his hands and face were real. Joe left them there and he didn’t even know whose blood he just washed off of his body. His stomach made a drastic churn at the thought. 

Ben grabbed a pack of cigarettes he had lying around and couldn’t care less that smoking wasn’t allowed in the building and he curled himself up on the sofa, knees to his chest. This was going to be a long night. 

He must’ve slept at some point, even if only for a few moments because the sky had changed colour. Ben was still curled up on the sofa, and with a groan, he lifted his head from where it’d been pillowed and felt a painful twang of annoyed muscle in his shoulder blades. 

Without thinking, he grabbed his phone to check if Joe had texted him. He didn’t know why, Ben was still annoyed with him, but it was part of his routine. Joe had this habit of rambling over text if Ben didn’t answer quickly enough, and the blond more often than not woke to a string of messages. But no, his screen was blank except for a notification saying his phone would auto-update.

Annoyed at himself for checking, Ben threw his phone onto his bed and watched the cracked device jump on the stiff mattress. He sighed and ran a hand over his stressed face, getting a flashback to the blood which covered it not too long ago and winced, pulling his hand back and looked at it as if it was still dripping blood.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, voice rough and unused, deep gravel in his chest, and even though he didn’t want to move, he did. Getting up, he moved numbly to the world over to his little kitchenette and started the familiar routine of making a hot drink, but it seemed as if he only blinked and he was having the last gulp of a shit cup of tea. He let out a sad whine, keeping the mug in hand but pressing it against his forehead. Dear God, please don’t let him actually lose his mind over this.

____________

He had always been dedicated to his work, always had put his all into it, but now his life became it. He only really ever did work. Work, then home, then work, then home, maybe sometimes a bar. It meant he had something to focus on every day, something he could actually do and be present for. It made him feel better in some odd way, falling into these familiar character roles. Every night he poured himself over the scripts, rambling the lines as if they were his own. But they were useful to actually shut up his own thoughts, and as long as they did that, Ben would keep working.

Rami, of course, was a bit of an obstacle. Being one of Joe's friends, he knew something was up, but as far as the director knew, it was a rough patch. So, on they went as if nothing had happened. A week went by without Ben changing. He was overly enthusiastic, always the first one at the theatre and nearly the last one to leave and always with this forced air of calmness. Rami was a director, for god’s sake, he knows when something is stiff. But he wouldn’t push his attention onto Ben, wouldn’t make him think about whatever he was running from. He just hoped that it wasn’t Joe.

Gwil was concerned, of course, he was. Joe had suddenly dropped out of Ben's life, and the Welshman knew his best friend like the back of his hand. Right now, Ben looked like a dog dumped on the side of the road - lost and scared but ready to fight the world. Careful not to get too close in case that fight turned to him, Gwil stayed near enough. They went out more, just the two of them, drunk whenever their schedules would allow it, and never spoke about their love lives. The pub quiz was missed by both Ben and Joe, and that was an odd thing, but, again, no one poked their noses in the places they could feel they weren’t welcomed. Or Joe. Who’d stopped turning up for classes altogether. 

And sometimes it works. Most of the time it does. Ben’s distracted. But he curses his dreams. He’ll wake up a few times, sometimes crying out in fear, other times just staring at the wall, but all the time it’s about Joe. To begin with, it was the blood, other times it was the body. Sometimes they merged and it all came together and on those days Ben was shaky. But as weeks turned into a month, the show started to slow down and Gwil, away with exams more, the dreams became more frequent, sometimes two, three a night. And then they switched.

Joe in the chair. Joe covered in blood and unconscious. Joe dying, beaten by a man he didn’t know. Joe helpless as Ben watched on, unable to do anything but just stare as Joe gets punched and kicked and beaten to an inch of his life. There was one time where it was Ben doing the beating as the auburn-haired man under him begged for his life between dribbles of blood and his own fearful tears. That was a hard one to shake.

And Ben realised that’s why he was avoiding Joe.

Because Joe was the one who’d done that to someone. Had heard the begs, had seen the blood and yet had carried on until the room had been filled with the sickly sound of damaged flesh being repeatedly punched over and over again. And yet it didn’t make him scared of him. 

Did that make Ben the monster too?

Ben groaned to himself, the heel of his palm pressed between his eyebrows as he tried to refocus on his words. It was late at night again, later than Ben had been intending to stay up, but he had many nights like this. Getting lost in his own mind. He kept muttering the lines, and usually, it’d get him back on track and he’d have a one-sided conversation with his character, but not tonight.

“For god’s sake,” he muttered under his breath, taking the two steps from his bed to go to his kitchen, and he poured himself a glass of water. His hand shook as his mind played over the word ‘monster’ behind his eyelids like it’s the most interesting thing ever and it grew louder and bigger until it felt like it was all-consuming and Ben's heart skyrocketed. It felt too small in here, more cramped than usual, and he doesn’t even need to think about it twice before he’s going down the stairwell and out the complex. He’s got nowhere in mind to go, he just wants that word to be left behind.

____________

‘He’s on the move’

Joe hadn’t been expecting his phone to light up. It’s too late to be his family, no one is out on a job, so he jumps at the happy ping and the too-bright screen. He grabbed it quickly, frowning for the briefest of moments before he realises what’s going on. Ben is going somewhere out of character. 

He hadn’t heard from the blond since he’d walked away from him. Rightfully so. Joe had never intended for Ben to see that part of his life, and that night played over and over in his mind as he wished and hoped he could’ve changed it even a little bit. A text, a call, and Ben wouldn’t have been worried, wouldn’t have come over to see if he was okay or not. He would’ve never seen the underbelly of the Mazzellos. Fuck, even if they’d moved the ‘interrogation’ into another room, Ben would’ve been saved from those sights. 

No one wants to see their boyfriend covered in another man's blood. Well. Ex-boyfriend now. 

Even so, Joe is climbing out of bed as he types out ‘where’ and stares at the screen as three little dots appear and then he has a street address. That’s all he needs. He changes quicker than he ever has before, pulling on an outfit that is a disgrace to the fashion world, but he doesn't care as he grabs a coat and hops down the hallway pulling on a shoe. 

Ben seems to be on foot, Joe notes as the elevator rushes down and makes his stomach do that little jump thing. He doesn’t take his eyes off of the screen as another street address comes up, and then another. He’s in another part of town from Joe, so as he breezes into the lobby, he barks out “car” as he keeps his fast pace, someone holding a door open for him and he only has to wait a minute before an estate car is parking out front. He gave the driver Ben’s address, memorised and printed onto Joe's brain, and they’re quickly in the throng of traffic. His heart is in his throat, palms sweaty as he licks dry lips. 

He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly rushing downtown - Ben could be, and is very likely, going for a stroll to clear his mind. But Leech wouldn’t have told Joe if it was a typical thing. And god damnit, Joe wants to see Ben.

He missed him so much. From his little pout when things don’t go his own way, to his tendency to use the word ‘um’ in the middle of a sentence instead of breathing. Joe missed it all. His gruff morning voice, his constantly cold toes, the slight lag he gets after that third pint. Joe glanced from his phone and blinked a few times, unexpectedly emotional over the thought that he could quite easily never get to be there for his annoying little habits. Joe wanted them back in his life. 

The car gets there quicker than Joe had expected - he must’ve gotten lost in thought - and he steps out quickly near enough before the car even rolled to a full stop. His phone pinged, he glanced down, and then up, and then down again, before he started to follow wherever Ben went. He needed to know he was ok. 

Six blocks later, and the buildings clear away. They’re by the river now, the city lights reflecting from the polluted waters and Joes heart sped up. Ben never liked coming down here, said it was full of weirdos or hipsters, and would sometimes laugh and say that they were the same thing, but the fact that he’d come here in the middle of the night by himself caused Joe to panic. But this is where Leech said Bens phone pinged last. So, Joe looked.

He stayed in the shadows, he was good at that and blended into the small crowd of people here. Students, he’d guess, by their conversations. They took up a couple of the benches on the riverfront, smoking weed and playing an out of tune guitar, speaking way too loud for the middle of the night about their freedom and how their parents never understood them. Joe's nose scrunched up a bit and he ignored them. They weren’t a threat and were of no real interest to Joe other than the fact they were there. He shifted a bit, using the overhead lamppost to his advantage and stayed in the darker shadow to its side. 

There. Standing right by the calf high wall. Ben. Joe gulped, eyes going soft as he watched him pull up a cigarette and take a drag, tapping it against the side of his thigh to let the used ash float away in the air. Even watching him from behind, Joe could see Ben’s shoulders were hunched and his hand shook ever so slightly as he held the nicotine. He took another drag, a long one before Ben dropped the cigarette and snuffed it out with his shoe. But he stayed standing there, and Joe continued to watch. 

Would someone tell those students to piss off? Joe now hated them. If they weren’t here, maybe he could get closer, maybe even speak to Ben again. He wanted too, he needed too, and Joe took a step forward, and then another, standing in the spotlight as his next step hesitated. Ben had made it clear that he wasn’t interested in what Joe had to say, going off the many ignored calls and texts. He knew that Ben hadn’t been hanging with the group, hadn’t been going to the pub quizzes and avoided any interaction he didn’t have to do. And Joe had caused this to happen. This man, so full of light and laughter and love, and Joe had ruined him in one go.

He couldn't do this. Not right now. Joe gulped and turned on his heel, hands buried deep in his pockets as he marched away, nearly running. He’d hurt Ben so much and was selfish enough to come and stalk him. 

Joe couldn’t get back to the car quick enough, tears in his eyes.

____________

Ben let out the last of the smoke, eyes closed. He wanted to throw that damn guitar into the water and scream at the kids for being just so annoying. He’d wanted peace and quiet, and had somehow been drawn to the water, yet he hadn’t got any peace, not to mention quiet. He turned, ready to give them a gob full when he spotted auburn hair disappearing into the night, and his complaint fell wordlessly from his lips. 

Was he stupid for running after him? He rounds the corner but sees no one.


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a lapse in judgment and he knew that. Still, Joe couldn’t stop thinking about his almost encounter with Ben for the next few days and how much he wanted to see him again. But he couldn’t just come up to him with empty apologies, knowing that, by even showing up near him he was putting Ben in danger. He had a decision to make. And if it came down to him choosing between Ben or his family and their ‘business’, Joe would choose Ben. He’d choose happiness. He’d choose neither of them having to live looking over their shoulder or sleeping with his gun under his pillow. 

It wasn’t going to be easy. There’s no story of ‘child of a mafia family leaves the business and lives a quiet normal life without a care in the world’. You just don’t leave, no one does. If you’re born in that world, it’s your world for the rest of your life. The only way you left was a bullet between your eyes. But Joe wanted more, he always had, always that itch for the life he never got. He’s seen the real world, the normal world where people worried about bills and dishes and not about stalkers and sniper rifles. Joe likes that world; that world has Ben in it. He saw a glimpse at how happy they could be together, how happy they could make each other, how happy their lives could be. And he’s going to do everything he can to get that back for both of them. Even if it had only been a short time together, Joe knew that Ben deserves to be happy. And he wants to be the reason why he is.

Joe Sr.'s study was a room that has always given him the chills. No matter how many times he’s entered it in 36 years, there was always that feeling that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Even if nothing violent ever went on within those four walls, he knew it was where everything happened, where every decision was made, and where he was going to voice his own plea. It’s not going to be a simple task but he’s hopeful his father will understand, after all, he’s not an unreasonable man and it’s not like Joe’s an important cog in the family machine, only trained to be. A disposable one, in some ways.

“You know it’s not that easy, Joe,” his father tells him in a voice that says he’s more sorry about it than Joe. They stare at each other for a moment, and they have a moment of understanding. “I can relieve you from your family duties but you’re still a Mazzello to everyone else. If they come after you, a simple ‘I’m out of the business’ won’t cut it and you know that,”

Joe nods in understanding at his father’s words. “I’m willing to do anything,” 

There’s a long and tense pause in the room while Joe Sr. looks at Joe standing on the other side of his desk, nodding slowly once and Joe knows that he’s not going to like what he’s about to hear. 

“There’s something you can do...” 

____________

The play had gotten a little buzz among the theatre community in New York, with Rami as a director and up and coming Ben as a supporting actor but shining in his character, they were getting compliments left, right and centre. There were rumours about even moving the production from the Off-Broadway to the big leagues and they were all very excited about it, even if it meant more work probably. Well, everyone except Ben, who couldn’t find much excitement in anything anymore. The only thing he looked forward to about it was the fact that there will be more work for him to get his mind off of Joe. 

The buzz also brought in a bit of a fanbase for them, and the stage door was starting to fill up after the shows with people wanting to chat about the play, get photos and playbills signed and giving them occasional gifts. Ben and Lucy were honestly a sensation, people seemed to adore the British duo. 

Among the faces in the crowd one night, Ben spots Joe in the distance. His blood freezes, body going cold as flashes from the last night he saw him and all his nightmares come crashing into his mind like stormy waves so suddenly that he has to close his eyes and look away before he got dizzy, which makes one of the girls he was signing a playbill to ask if he's okay with a worried look. 

“Sorry, too many hours under the spotlights give me massive headaches sometimes,” He turns to her with a very pained smile that doesn’t meet his eyes, and the young girl returns it unsurely but doesn’t mention it any further. 

People start dissipating until there’s only a few cast members left and Joe, still standing still over an hour later, a few steps away with a beautiful flower arrangement. How can a man who he saw beating up someone to a pulp, be standing there waiting for him for the longest time with flowers to apologise? You’d think only a cold-blooded bastard could do something like that, not someone who buys flowers for his- ex-boyfriend and stands with an unsure twist in his posture. 

Ben is in between two minds. He wants to just turn around and leave and get home safe away from Joe, shut him out of his life and never let him back in. And his other half was telling him to give him a chance… what wouldn’t he give to hear Joe once again, look into his eyes for the briefest of seconds and just see his Joe. Just let him give an explanation, tell him he was actually hallucinating that and he would never hurt a fly. But he knows what he saw. 

Time passes by and he can’t debate himself anymore because Joe is actually coming towards him. He wants to run but he stays put and lets him. There’s a part inside of him that knows deep down that Joe isn’t a violent man, regardless of what he saw, and he feels safe with him. His brain screams about blood and murder and all the horrors of the world, but he chooses to believe his gut, and he stays where he’s standing, rooted to the ground as the older man crosses the shabby street with his over-enthusiastic bouquet of flowers. 

“I- didn’t know what it was customary to bring to male performers so I got you these. You were great,” Joe’s voice is quiet and unsure, as opposed to how he usually is, loud and confident. He gestures slightly with the bouquet, holding it slightly more towards Ben, suddenly unsure of what to do with them. He’d bought them for him, had spent a long time picking them out himself and made sure they’d be perfect and somehow the petals managed to show the bubbly joy that Ben always used to make Joe feel. But now they felt heavy in his grip, wilted a little from the lack of water.

“I don’t own a vase,” Ben’s response comes with a little delay but finally comes and it’s dry and emotionless. He doesn’t intend it to be but it’s how it comes out. He looks at the flowers and then back at Joe.

“Oh-” Joe puts the bouquet down and looks down with it for a moment. But apparently, he doesn’t give up because a moment later he looks up again. “I don’t- care about the flowers, I just want to talk with you. Please?”

“Look, Joe. You don’t have to apologise for-” Ben starts with a heavy sigh but Joe interrupts him. 

“I don’t want to apologise. I want to tell you the truth,” he steadies his gaze on Ben, no uncertainty in his hazel eyes. He’s the most certain about this decision than he has been for a long time. “No secrets, no lies and I will answer every single one of your questions if you might have them. And if after all that you still don’t want to hear from me, well, then at least I’ll leave knowing that I tried my best to get you back,” 

Ben blinks back at Joe. He was expecting many things, going from him apologising or lying to bashing Ben’s head in with a blunt object. But he didn’t expect this, he didn’t expect the truth. Does Ben want to know the truth?

“I don’t know-”

“Please,” Joe stretches a sure hand to wrap around Ben’s wrist but it’s not a harsh one, like that time after the pub quiz, it’s soft touch but it burns Ben to his core. He looks down at his wrist and Joe’s slim fingers around it, wanting to pull away but also wanting to turn his palm up and hold his hand. “Please, just hear me out.”

Ben doesn’t think he’s ever seen Joe this vulnerable in the few months he’s known him. Could it be just an act? Could Joe turn out to be a better actor than he could ever be? His rational mind is screaming at him that what he saw at Joe’s place was too much for him and he doesn’t need to be involved with someone who beat up a person, that his life is fine this way and eventually he’ll get over Joe. But his heart is begging him to please take him home. 

The blond sighs heavily from deep in his chest, closing his eyes and moves his wrist away from Joe’s grip with a short tug, Joe’s hand falling down to his side as if lifeless. 

“Alright,” Ben opens his eyes again after a few tense heartbeats, and his gaze lingers where their hands used to be connected and he nods. “Let’s go to mine,” 

Joe nods and they share another look before they start walking side by side down the street towards Ben’s place, Joe still with the bouquet of flowers in his grasp. They walked with a distance between them, arms stiff and avoiding contact as the silence grew thick with tension. Ben hadn’t been expecting this at all. Maybe Joe turning up at his door, maybe an apology, but not this whole vulnerability. It made Ben feel a little unsteady. Joe, this man with obviously a dark secret, was so willing to lay himself bare for Ben, so willing to let Ben see his weak side... 

They walk the entire way back. It’s a long walk, but they don’t speak. They stop and wait to cross the streets together, weave between the throng of people constantly moving, they pass over the same cracks in the pavements. But neither mutter a word, both mentally attempting to prepare for what's to come.

The gate jams on the front door of his complex and Ben slams his body against it until it wheezes open. He doesn’t bother holding it open for Joe as he starts up the stairs, bare lightbulb buzzing hotly over them as Ben climbs the stairs two at a time, Joe trotting up after him. 

He’s been here before, Joe has, but not enough. It was always his own place he suggested first, always the better area with more protection, where he felt safer. He’d been a dick to Ben, he’s realising, way before the shit show had started. Unintentionally, yeah, but there are places he could definitely work on. 

“Would you like a…” Ben gestured towards the sofa once they got inside, voice sounding tired and rough around the edges. He’d been speaking on stage most the day, sweaty and exhausted and all he’d usually do is chug some water and fall face-first on the solid mattress he still hasn’t replaced. But now his brain was running way too fast for any of that.

“Ah, no, I’m good for a drink, thanks,” Joe stayed by the door. This place was as tiny as he’d remembered, and even more suffocating this time around. No pictures on the wall, a succulent sitting lonely on the window sill, a half-empty bottle of wine with some old cork fallen into it. Ben hadn’t really changed since they’d broken up, and oddly that made Joe feel a little better. “Do you, ugh, have anything to put these in?” Joe thrust his arm forward, the cellophane wrapped around the flowers rustling a bit and the two just stared at them for a bit.

“Pint pot would work,” Ben took the flowers for the first time tonight. They were heavy, and Ben glanced up at Joe, who’d been holding them for well over two hours now without a complaint. He admitted to himself that they were a lovely bunch, and the little ribbon keeping them together will be something he keeps. He turned, grabbing a glass he’d stolen from their bar, and filled it with water, neither speaking as he got them set up and placed on the countertop, a little shifting to do them justice.

“Ben…” Joe, still by the door, spoke up, and saw the hitch in broad shoulders, and then heard the heavy sigh as Ben turned, leaning by the cheerful flowers as he looked at Joe with a dubious raise in his eyebrows. “Can we just talk, please?”

“I’m listening,” 

“Okay - Look, I know half of the things I’m about to tell you will sound crazy to you, please just hear me out. Let me finish and, like I said before, I swear I will answer all your questions,” he waits for Ben to nod and takes a deep breath, heart beating fast in his throat, so much he feels he’s going to throw up. This is it. There’s no turning back from this. “I’ve had you- watched for a long time,”

“What!?” Ben raises his voice and leans away from the counter but not towards Joe. 

“Please? Let me finish,” Joe puts his palms up, begging for patience and some mercy, “I know how that sounds but, when we started seeing each other, someone started following us, then you.”

“Again with this. Why would anyone want to follow me?”

“Because of me, Ben. Because being with me put you in danger,” Joe swallowed his guilt. He’d never thought that this would’ve happened. For years, he lived in peace. Maybe a random guy trying his luck, but honestly Joe had found all the small attempts at his life, the tiny threats, he’d found them all adorable - “my family is part of the New York Mafia,”

There’s an intense silence that’s only broken by a dry chuckle from Ben, “Alright get out of my house,”

“No, please. I’m not lying. I swear.” Joe sighed, swallowing around the lump in his throat. How does he even begin to explain this? From day one, it had been pushed into his mind to never let anyone know what the family business was. Never, not even his closest friends. Because those who knew often ended up dead. But this was the only thing he could try to do to not lose Ben. He had to break the family rules. “Look,” his voice was weak, the word coming out with a shiver, “You don’t have to believe a word I say but please, just listen to me and if you still want to kick me out after I’m done, you have every right to. I’ll get out of your life,”

“Why should I listen to what you have to say?” Ben asks him with a firmness in his voice, even a little challenging. 

“Because I love you,” Joe watches Ben swallow hard visibly in front of him but doesn’t say anything. “I know I don’t have any right to say this to you now but I do. I love you, Ben. I don’t want to lose you and I will do anything if it means you take me back, so, please. Please if there’s even a small chance that you think what I’m saying could be true, just let me finish what I have to say,”

Joe can see every bit of Ben trying to fight his instinct of kicking him out. He thinks there’s a little bit of hope that Ben loves him too and maybe that will make him listen. The seconds tick loudly in his ears until Ben finally steps back and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Go on,”

Joe nods and clears his throat, walking a little further into the apartment but not much, “I know how crazy this sounds and I understand if you can’t believe me but there’s such a thing as the mafia here in New York. We’re a few families and mine, well, my father has been working all his life to make sure we’re on top and respected. And because of that, there’s people who follow us. Try to exploit us in some way, and then... there was you. My perfect weak spot”

There’s only silence coming from Ben and when Joe looks up at him to see if there’s a small trace of understanding or compassion in him, but Joe can’t see it. Can’t see anything. Ben’s put up a cold front so Joe can’t read him and he supposes that’s fair and he deserves that. He deserves not knowing his fate until the very last minute. 

“Dad’s ill,” Joe continues, “I know I’ve mentioned this before but it means more than losing a parent to me. There’s- more. My sister, she’s meant to take his place as family leader. She will, actually, but there’s people who think I’ll be more fit for it,” Joe chuckles dryly to himself thinking about his sister, about how cold-blooded she is, she was raised to be. Her only soft spot is her children, not even her husband who, should he betray her or the family she would not hesitate to smite him with no remorse. “That’s another reason we’re followed and scrutinized. They think they can get to me through you or some crazy shit like that but I- I don’t want any of that Ben, I don’t. I’m not part of that life.”

“You didn’t seem too bothered when you were beating the shit out of a person,” still, Ben has no emotion present in his tone or expression or anything. For a guy who loved life so much, who was so easy to read, staring at a blank canvas was a stark contrast.

“He’d been following you, Ben. Was taking pictures of your every move. They knew everything about you. What you ate, where you worked, what colour your bedsheets are… I couldn’t just do nothing. I was worried they’d do something to you,”

“There has to be another way other than beating someone up to a pulp,” 

“Not for me, no.” Joe pauses and frowns, suddenly realizing something, “wait… you believe me?”

Ben chews at his bottom lip and sighs, “I don’t know,” 

“You know I’m telling you the truth, Ben. You know me,”

“I don’t think I do,”

“But you do. You know you do,” Joe starts slowly walking up towards Ben, palms up again as he watches him tense up and take half a step back but he stops, so Joe keeps walking towards him until they’re close, treating him like a scared animal, “The Joe you know is the real Joe. Or.. the Joe I want to be. The Joe that loves you and wants a life with you away from all this crazy shit,” He stretches a sure hand towards Ben’s wrist again and thumbs the inside, looking down at it, then back at Ben again. “If you believe me, if you take me back, I swear I will do anything to just have a normal life with you away from my family and their business, I’ll change my name if I have to,” his voice took on a begging tone, down low and vulnerable, and Joe felt all of it. If Ben wanted to rip him apart, he would be able too. Right now, Ben has all the control. It’s weird and different, usually, Joe having some grasp of the reins, but he’s giving it all over to Ben, and always would if that’s what he wanted.

Ben lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes against the sudden wave of emotion. Joe loved him. Actually said out loud that he loved him. Ben had thought about it for a while but never said it. He gulped and turned his head. 

The Brit had missed Joe so much. Like, really missed him. And it wasn’t the money he missed. He’d missed the sparkle in hazel eyes as an idiotic idea came to mind, had missed the guy who’d waded into a knee-high pond because Ben had been an idiot and thrown his phone in instead of the bread, had missed the idiot who ordered a triple cheese pizza and forgotten his Lactaid, missed the idiot who’d worn a sweatshirt the wrong way round for a whole day until Ben pointed it out. He’d really missed Joe in every sense of the word.

But the guy he missed was also a guy from a mafia family. A guy who’d beat someone up in the middle of his living room. Who’d have him watched for ‘protection’.

Would Ben do the same thing in his position? He’s never had to think about something like this before. He gulped, frowning to himself. What would he do if he found out his loved one was being stalked? Wouldn’t he want to keep them safe and protected? He’s never been in the position of having an enemy at his mercy. How does he know that he wouldn’t do the same thing?

“Joe,” Ben spoked after some time, the word thick in his throat. He felt the fingers around his wrist tighten, and he turned slowly to look at him. “I-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that's it. FOR NOW! 
> 
> Nads and I (Floss) love this storyline so much we decided to separate it into separate sections, making it make more sense time-wise, and to shift concentration onto other characters (maybe the Mazzellos?👀) so we'd love to hear your input. Although we have a solid idea of what we want to happen, we'd love to hear from you guys too!

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to us over on tumblr!
> 
> [Floss's](https://bohrapbois.tumblr.com/) and [Nadia's](https://heybuddy-drabbles.tumblr.com/)


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